


I would have saved her if I could

by agirlwithnoname



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-07 05:42:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4251546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlwithnoname/pseuds/agirlwithnoname
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How can you ever recover when your wounds will never heal?</p>
<p>Darcy Lewis is kidnapped and tortured, and discovers that the road to recovery is much harder than it is in the movies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING!
> 
> This fic includes pretty graphic violence, mostly at the beginning. Rape is also discussed.
> 
> Didn't have a beta at hand, so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Timelines are a bit of a mess, but this takes place sometime around the time of AoU. This fic will not comply with AoU canon.

When she opened her eyes, it was dark. Darkness at this point was a friend, it was the sign of safety.  
The lights were only on when the man in white was in the room, and bad things happen when the man in white was in the room.

The floor felt cold under her, which meant they were done for the day. She carefully sniffed the air, but couldn’t smell the coppery scent of blood. She must have passed out before they got to making her bleed. She had a feeling that that wasn’t as good of a thing as it seemed.  
When she first arrived it took losing a lot of blood to make her pass out, and now she had been lights out after a few questions. Well, to be fair she was pretty sure she was going to die soon anyway, so that might explain the weakness.

One of the wounds in her leg was badly infected, pushing puss and smelling like her upcoming death. She thought that that was going to be the thing that kills her, but she had figured that out pretty much the moment she heard the bone snap and felt it push through her skin. Before that she had thought it would be one of the broken ribs that would eventually puncture her lungs. Before that she thought it would be the blood loss from where she used to have fingers. Before that she thought it would be from the head injury. Before that she thought it would be from old age at 90.

Dying kinda really sucked. Especially this dying slow from an infection thing. But, to be fair, it was still better than living like this. When she had finally realized that she was going to die there, it was almost a relief. Hope seemed to cause more and more pain, so when it was finally gone the first time they left her on the floor of the cement room naked and bleeding, she had finally given up hope. No-one was coming. She would die.

So when the leg started to get infected she hid it. Dying slowly sucked, but finally getting to die was going to be awesome.

She wanted to move to the corner where her small makeshift bed was, but knew she had no hope of getting there. She was tired and in pain and would only be more tired and more in pain if she tried to move. There was no point anyway. They wouldn’t be back for more questions until after 2 guard changes, and she was sure she would be dead as a doornail by then.

She had prepared for this 6 questionings ago, before the leg. She had written a small note with an oily black liquid that had been left on the floor by one of the guard’s boots. She wrote it on the back of a Starbucks receipt that she had had in her pocket when they took her, and hid the note behind a loose piece of cement under her bed of ripped clothes and cardboard.

She had left evidence that she had been there any way she could. She smeared her blood in the dark corners and left small drops on things they wouldn’t been noticeable on only with the naked eye. She bit off her remaining fingernails and jammed them in the small cracks of the cement. She crabbed fistfuls of her now short hair and yanked them from her head and spread them everywhere. She had watched enough of CSI to know that the more evidence, the better.

So now the only thing left was to die. Which, as stated before, sucked.

For a moment she felt her head spinning again and closed her eyes. She opened them a moment later, but knew that it had been much longer. She was no longer in so much pain. Not in a fun “Yay I have been cured” kinda way, more like in the “I’m numb and can no longer feel anything” kinda way. She was shivering though, violently. A fever was making its way through her body, the infection taking over.

She was happy. She knew her immune system was weak, so when the fever burned through her fragile body, it would take her with it. No more than a day until it would claim her. In terms of consciousness maybe an hour or two. Finally.

She took small shallow breaths and thought about her life before this. She thought of the cold Chicago mornings of her childhood, she thought of the hot days in the Arizona sun as a student, and she thought of the rainy afternoons of London. She felt sad as tiredness started to take over, knowing that this sleep was going to be her final one. Her life had been short, but she had seen so much. She had been stupid to think that after seeing all of those things she could just go and live like everyone else. She had been so stupid.

And that was the final thought in Darcy Lewis’ her mind as she drifted off to unconsciousness.

* * *

 

  
“Team Red has reached the inner door, permission to proceed?”  
A crackling voice came through the intercom into the operations centre of the helicarrier.

“Fucking finally”, Maria Hill grunter. She stood up from the table and walked to the main screen showing live areal footage of the area. She had had a bad feeling for hours now, from pretty much the moment first boots hit the ground. She pressed the communications button on her headset to answer.  
“Granted. Red one, frequent updates required.”

“Understood Wolf one, reports will continue.”

On the monitors Hill could see one of the ground cameras shake as the underground explosion was set off.

“Team Red is on the main floor, proceeding with the sweep.”

Hill remained quiet, as did the rest of the room. Only three other people occupied the large space, all of them on their computers. This was her operation, so she was the only high lever agent needed.

“Team Red has located the technology.”

Hill couldn’t hold in a sigh. If this intel hadn’t turned out to be accurate, her career would have been done.  
“Good job Red one. Bring back the disc and neutralize everything else.”

“Understood Wolf one. Should my guys sweep the rest of the area before heading to the meeting point?”

Hill thought about it for a moment. If she had just indeed recovered what she thought she had, she would be the talk of SHIELD for years to come. She knew the men were still running into occasional armed resistance, so proceeding now could have seriously consequences. She should tell them to evacuate right now.

“Sweep the rest of the area team Red.”

She wasn’t exactly sure what made her say that. She had always hated people who went on and on about trusting their gut, but right now her gut was telling her to proceed.

The coms went quiet for a solid 2 minutes.

“Wolf one, Red six.”

“Go ahead Red six.”

“We have an area that has apparently been used as a containment area.”

Hill grabbed the edge of the table. This wasn’t good. Fuck her gut, she could feel it in her very bones. Something bad was going on in there.

“Sweep the area for survivors, report immediately.”

It was quiet again for a good moment and Hill felt the adrenaline pumping through her.

“Negative on the survivors, we have two that have been dead for a while and one that-“

The sound was suddenly cut off. Hill had just pressed her finger to the headset to bark orders when a voice came through the line.

“Correction, we have a live one.”


	2. Chapter 2

In movies people always woke up in hospitals surrounded by their loved ones, in a white room filled with gently beeping machines and flowers on the nightstand. In movies people opened their eyes, smiled, and said something witty as their long lost love grabbed their hands and kissed them.

When Darcy woke up in hospital she was alone, in a room with dark grey walls, surrounded by machines that sounded like the came from hell itself, and not a flower in sight.

The person in the room wasn’t her long lost love either, unless she had really been so long lost that Darcy had forgotten her.

Darcy’s head felt oddly light and her eyes stung as she focused her gaze on the young woman sitting behind a small desk across the small room. The room was filled with light pouring in from the tall windows behind the woman, and Darcy was pretty sure she was an angel.

That could be her witty movie type waking up quip, she decided, only to realize that the only noise she could make was a whimpery grunt.

This got the woman’s attention though, and she lifted her head from behind her laptop and greeted her with a smile as she got up and walked to Darcy’s bedside.

She didn’t say anything as she quickly pressed a button on the wall and adjusted a drip. Darcy just kept looking at her. She was young and beautiful. Her brown eyes looked kind. Darcy hadn’t seen anything kind in a long time.

“Miss Lewis, I’m doctor Hammond.” Even her voice sounded kind. “Do you know where you are?”

Her throat still hurt, but she could breath out a small “Hospital.”

Doctor Hammond smiled. Her red lipstick looked so beautiful against her brown skin that Darcy felt like crying. She hadn’t seen beautiful things in a long time.

“Very good.”, she said as the door to the room opened and a nurse leaned in. The doctor said something quick to her before turning back to Darcy. “You are at SHIELD medical, do you know who SHIELD is?”

She nodded. She had known something about them before her trip underground, and she knew more now, after it.

Doctor Hammonds kept smiling at her.   
“I want you to know that you are very safe here Darcy. We’ll take very good care of you ok?”

The nurse came back and handed the doctor something. Darcy could see the small syringe for just a second as it was pushed into her. Surprisingly, she wasn’t scared.

“That’ll help you sleep for the night, tomorrow you get to start living again.”, doctor Hammond said quietly as Darcy felt a gentle sleep taking her over.

* * *

 

 

Maria Hill stood behind the door to room 177 of the medical wing. This was one of their best rooms, maybe the best one, but still she felt like she hadn’t done enough. From the moment when the team extracted the girl, she had gotten all the best treatment that SHIELD could offer, but it felt too little too late.

The girl had been in the room for four months now, two of those awake. The senior agents had decided together that it was time to start the interviews after doctor Hammond had sent the memo that she was as stable as she could be for a long time. But still Hill felt bad. She knew that they had prepared the girl for her arrival, but she knew the girl couldn’t be ready.

She opened the door and stepped in to the room, and for the first time since the first night, laid her eyes on Darcy Lewis.

She looked much better than she had back then. She was still thin, but the bruises that had blossomed all over her face before had now faded. Her nose was still crooked, but the scar running across it that had been an ugly scab the last time, was now just a red line across her nose. Her leg had been freed from the cast some time ago, but she could still see it elevated on a pillow, looking wrong. The blanket covered most of her body so Hill couldn’t see any more of the injuries which she knew were there.

Hill strolled next to the bed and started talking before she could talk herself out of it. “Maria Hill, deputy director of SHIELD.”

The girl didn’t really seem to react and Hill was about to repeat herself before the girl opened her mouth and whispered gently “I know who you are.”

It was still early morning so the sun wasn’t still high enough to shine from behind the tall buildings that surrounded the headquarters. Hill was oddly grateful of that, because in the dim light the haunted look in Darcy’s eyes wasn’t as obvious as it would have otherwise been.

“And I assume you know why I’m here?”

Darcy nodded, but didn’t elaborate. The report had said that speaking was still hard for her due to physical and emotional trauma, so Hill laid the tablet she had brought with her to the table.

“I’m going to ask you questions about what happened to you. You can talk to me, or you can use the tablet if you like.” The girl was quiet for a moment, before reaching for the tablet. Hill handed it to her with ease.

“I assume you’re not interested in pleasantries, and neither am I. The sooner we get right into it, the sooner it’ll be over. Ok?”

And then, without knowing it would change her life, Darcy Lewis smiled as she nodded, and Maria Hill decided she owed this girl the world.

It was almost six hours later that Hill stepped out of the room and sat heavily on one of the uncomfortable chairs in the hallway. She needed to go to the gym to hit things. Punching bags, walls, or people, she didn’t much care.

Someone sat next to her on her right and a voice sighed heavily. “She needs to get out of that room.”

Hill turned to face Doctor Hammond. She had always liked the younger woman, but right now she just felt angry.  
“Where the hell is she going to go Nicola? You know the story we had to spread after she was recovered. She has no place to go.”

“I don’t know, but staying here is doing more harm than good in the long run.”, she said with a steady tone, not breakings Hill’s gaze. “She needs to see normal life again.”

“She will never be able to have a normal life again.”

Doctor Hammond didn’t answer right away, simply stood up and started walking away. “Figure it out Maria.”

Hill sat there on the chair in front of room 177 for a few more minutes. She knew what she had to do, and had known for a while now. The poor girl needed normality, but couldn’t have it. She needed to get out of SHIELD headquarters, but couldn’t go too far away. She needed to be safe, she needed to be monitored.

Hill fished her phone out of her pocket and scrolled though her contacts until she found the letter P. This was a big favour to ask, but she knew she could ask it. She selected the name she needed and hit dial.

The line beeped a few times before a cool female voice answered. “Maria Hill, now that’s a call I hadn’t expected today!”

“Hi Pepper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a shorter one. I already have another chapter started, so I think that'll be posted later this week.


	3. Chapter 3

Doctor Hammond was pushing her wheelchair along the long corridor towards the elevators, and Darcy was feeling a strange mix of elation and dread. Her room had been her home for months now, so to be leaving it behind now felt intimidating, but exciting.

It had been three weeks since Maria Hill had interviewed her, and a week ago the woman had returned to announce that Darcy would be released from medical.

Darcy could never forgetting the sinking feeling those words had caused. She knew the lies SHIELD had to spread to everyone after she was found, so she knew she had no place to go. All she knew was this little world in this little room at SHIELD, and now that was going to be taken away from her too.

Hill had sat in the visitors chair next to her bed.

“Miss Lewis, you can’t go too far away from us. You’re still at risk.”

Hills eyes were sharp and cold. She never seemed to have any emotion whatsoever, and a part of Darcy was oddly grateful of that. She liked doctor Hammond and all of the nurses, but they all always looked at her with pity. She could see the ‘Oh poor girl’ thoughts in their minds, and she hated it more than she was willing to admit even to herself.

Darcy nodded as an answer to Hill, not feeling like talking. Her throat had been healing well and speaking no longer hurt so much, but she simply didn’t feel like saying much. Before all of this she had never been able to shut up, constantly chattering about nonsense.

“We have found you living quarters at a prime location. You won’t be at SHIELD, but you will be near us.”

Doctor Hammond kept telling Darcy that she needed to talk more, saying that it might help her recovery. So Darcy swallowed and forced the words out of her mouth.

“I can’t afford New York rent.”

Hill simply nodded.  
“You will be living in a building owned by one of our consultants, so no need to worry about that. You will be given a weekly allowance from SHIELD to cover basic living costs until we can be certain that you no longer need our protection.”

“Why?”

Hill didn’t answer for a moment, and suddenly Darcy was sure she saw a crack in the hard shell of Maria Hill. As soon as the crack had appeared it was gone, and Hill got up from the visitors chair.

“Because SHIELD failed you miss Lewis, and we want to fix our mistake the best we possibly can.” Hill seemed to hesitate a moment before reaching to grab Darcy’s shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure you’ll be happy at the new location.”

That had been a week ago, and now as the elevator was making its way down to the SHIELD lobby, Darcy couldn’t help but feel excited. The elevator came to a stop and the door opened to the shiny and busy lobby of the SHIELD building. Darcy looked across the large room and saw Hill standing in front of the large glass doors dressed in suspiciously normal clothes. Next to her stood a larger guy in a badly fitted suit. He had a wide smile on his face and Darcy decided that the Darcy before all of this would have really like the guy.

Doctor Hammond pushed Darcy to where Hill and the man stood, and stopped in front of them. She took a step so she was in front of the wheelchair she had been pushing, and handed Darcy a thick brown envelope, and handed the man the bag filled with the small amount of things that Darcy now owned. Most of the bag was full of medication she supposed.

“Darcy, here is a list of you upcoming appointments and just notes on several things you need to remember.” Doctor Hammond smiled as she said this, and Darcy couldn’t help but feeling like she was really going to miss this woman. She had been the first person to show her kindness in a long time, so she couldn’t help but get attached.

“Thank you.”

Doctor Hammond smiled, said her goodbyes, and headed back to the elevators.   
Darcy turned her focus on Hill, who looked as serious and business like as ever.

“Miss Lewis, this is Happy Hogan.”

That name seemed oddly familiar, but Darcy couldn’t really place it. Her memory wasn’t as good as it used to be, some things just kept escaping her. She nodded and smiled to him as a response.

“Happy will drive us to your new place of residence.”, Hill continued as she started to push Darcy out of the glass doors as the man, Happy, held the door open. “The building is in a rather busy location so the drive might take some time in New York traffic.”

The car that was waiting for them was a large SUV. Darcy had seen enough movies to know that this thing wasn’t just a soccer mum car. The windows looked weirdly thick and dark in colour, and the metal of the car had a strange glint to it. This must be some crazy SHIELD armoured vehicle, she figured.

Happy opened the door and with Hills help, Darcy started to slowly get up from the chair. Her leg would never be the same again, but physical therapy seemed to be helping a lot. Just as she was on her feet, something hit her. This was the first time she had been outside since before all of this. It wasn’t a happy thought. Outside seemed to be full of strange things, scary things. She had been outside when they took her. She quickly got into the safety of the car.

Hill slid into the backseat with her, and Happy got into the drivers seat. As the car started, Darcy found herself surprised at how quiet the car was. It was a massive SUV, but somehow made less noise than a small moped. Huh, weird.

They pulled away from the SHIELD building, and Darcy got her first proper look of the world for the first time in ages. It was summer, trees were full of leafs, flowers were blossoming, and the sun was shining. The last time she saw the outside world, it had been fall. It hurt to see how much time she had lost.

She turned away from the windows and saw that Hill was looking at her. This was the second time she was sure she had seen the mask that Hill wore slipping, revealing a look of guilt and worry behind it. A second later the look was gone again and her mask of seriousness was in place again. It seemed so confusing that Hill would be looking at her with guilt. What did Hill have to be guilty about?

Hill reached into the small bad she was carrying and handed Darcy a credit card.   
“This card contains your weekly allowance. Every Monday 200 dollars will be placed on that account.”

To Darcy that seemed to be pretty low for New York costs. Hill seemed to read her mind.   
“Food will be provided to you without cost, as well as most necessary hygienic and health products.”   
Hill seemed to hesitate a moment before reaching into her pocket and handing Darcy a small business card that had nothing on it except the familiar SHIELD logo and a phone number.

“If you ever need more money, call me. I’ll arrange it.”

Darcy took the card into her shaking hand. Her voice sounded strangely strong to her own ears when she spoke.   
“I don’t have a phone.”

The man in the driver’s seat turned back to address her.

“I can get you one of you want. We have a lot of the promotional models just lying around.”

Darcy smiled and nodded, even though she had to admit to being a bit confused. Who on earth just had phone lying around? Happy turned back to focus on driving, and Darcy looked at him for a moment through the mirror. He seemed like an ordinary guy, and he seemed friendly. Then why was it that Darcy was also scared of him?

It was a few weeks after she first woke up when this problem reared its ugly head. It was something they hadn’t even thought about, and neither had she. Doctor Hammond was her doctor, and no-one else had access to her. There were 4 nurses, Tina, Helen, Sun, and Lydia, who took care of her. The only person who visited her was Maria Hill. She hadn’t seen a man since she woke up, and the first time she did, things didn’t go well. It had just been a doctor, popping in to as doctor Hammond to consult on a case. The moment she had seen the man Darcy had felt fear flooding her body. That man wasn’t there to hurt her, and neither was this man driving the car. But she was still scared. She had gotten better since that first time though, the panic attack had been a tough one.

Darcy was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t really notice where they were heading, until they passed Times Square. They were deep in the middle of New York, she realized. For the first time she started to really wonder where her new apartment was.

She turned to Hill who was typing something on a smartphone. As she turned, she caught sight of herself in the reflection on the window, and quickly tugged her beanie tighter around her head. Hill seemed to notice the movement, and slid her phone into her pocket.

“Is something troubling you miss Lewis?”, she asked in her usual cool tone.

Darcy felt awkward in the presence of a woman like Maria Hill. She knew what she looked like. She avoided mirrors whenever she could, but she felt the strange angle of her nose when she washed her face. She felt the scars running across her face. She felt the short choppy uneven mess of her hair. She looked like a mess. And here was Maria Hill, looking like someone straight out of TV.

Darcy shook her head and turned back to the window. The buildings seemed to get newer and fancier every turn they took, but also seemed to be more and more under heavy repairs.

“Are you scared?”

The question took Darcy off guard, and she turned to face Hill again. For a moment Darcy wasn’t exactly sure what to say, but she didn’t think she could gain everything from lying.

“Yes.”

To her surprise, it wasn’t Hill who answered her then, but the man behind the wheel, Happy.

“You’ll be safe at the tower, Jarvis sees everything. Don’t worry. There are always some of the suits around just in case too.”

And just then, as the car turned into the entrance of an underground parking lot of the biggest building around, that it all clicked to Darcy. A man named Happy. A car that seemed to run on some weird type of technology. A building in the middle of New York, owned by someone who worked with SHIELD. Someone that had phones just lying around. Darcy craned her neck and just before they entered the underground entrance she could just see an illuminated A on the side of the building.

Holy shit, no wonder they insisted she would be safe. She would be living in the Avengers tower.


	4. Chapter 4

The underground parking garage was massive. They drove past rows upon rows of cars, until reaching an inner gate. They came to a stop before the closed gateway and Happy rolled down the window.

“Good morning Mr. Hogan. Did you have a safe trip?”

The voice didn’t seem to come out of the open window, but rather from the car stereo. Darcy furrowed her brow. Surely that couldn’t be right.

“Always J.”, Happy answered as he reached through the open window to press his finger against a small pad embedded to the wall.

The gate slid open with a hiss, and revealed another garage. This one was filled with cars, but nothing like Darcy had seen before. There were sports cars that Darcy was sure were the dream of every little boy in the country, classic cars that would probably be the dream of every dad in the country, and pretty much everything in between.

Happy pulled up to a spot and slipped out of the car, Darcys bag already in hand, before she had had time to even open her seatbelt. The man opened the door on Darcy’s side before going around the car. Darcy though he was going to open the door for Hill too, but instead opened the trunk of the car and fished a pair of regular crutches out and handed then to Darcy.

Hill had already appeared on her side of the car and wordlessly extended her arm for Darcy to balance herself on while getting out of the car. Darcy was strangely grateful for the gesture, and carefully got out of the car. She took the crutches Happy was holding out for her, and slowly tested her weight on them. She had tried them on at the hospital, but only for a few steps and she wasn’t exactly sure how much she had to walk with them now.

Hill started walking briskly towards one of the seemingly plain columns they had passed, and Darcy decided it was best to follow. Happy took a few running steps and made it to the thick column before they could reach it. Just as she had awkwardly hobbled her way there, she saw another small white pad on the column. Happy pressed his finger against it and suddenly the stone seemed to crack open in the middle, to reveal that it was actually an elevator.

Darcy let out a small gasp. That shouldn’t even be possible, right? She hadn’t seen any cracks on the column before this, and now before her very eyes there was a rather roomy looking elevator filled with glass and mirrors and looking like it came straight from Star Trek.

Hill was eyeing her with obvious amusement. That wasn’t a look Darcy had ever seen on Hills face, so she could help but to grin.

“You gotta admit that that is freaking cool.”

Hill let out a small snort of laugher and took a step into the elevator.   
“If you’re this impressed with the elevator I’m really interested in seeing your reaction to Jarvis.”

Darcy took careful steps with her crutches to get into the elevator, and Happy got in with her. The doors slid closed.

“Who’s Jarvis?”

Suddenly, the same voice that had seemed to come from the car stereo sounded from speakers somewhere above her.

“That would be me, Miss Lewis.”

Darcy whipped her head up, but couldn’t see any speakers. If she was quite honest, the sudden new voice had gotten her heart racing.   
Hill, looking serious as usual again turned to Darcy.

“Jarvis is a bit complicated, I’ll explain him later.” She then turned back to face the elevator doors and continued talking, but seemingly to thin air. “Jarvis, what floor are we going to?”

“Miss Potts has arrange for Miss Lewis to be housed in the secondary visitors floor, so we’re going quite high up.”

Darcy didn’t even realize that they had started moving until suddenly the emerged from the dim of the garage into sunlight. They were rising somewhere near the windows and already Darcy was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by the view alone. Iconic New York buildings were rising in front of her eyes, and they kept going as the buildings seemed to disappear below them.

The came to a stop and the doors of the elevators slid open. Happy got out first, and disappeared somewhere on the floor they had stopped on. Darcy fixed the crutches under her arms to fit better and carefully made her way out of the elevator.

The space she found herself in was everything she could have expected. The room was a large space, filled with white things. There was a massive white sofa in the middle with a white table next to it. There were white statues and white rugs.

Hill had gotten out of the elevator after her, and was now walking across the room to a silvery white door. Just as they reached it, it was opened as Happy came out of the room.

“Miss Lewis, I left your bag on your bed.” The man smiled apologetically. “I would love to stay but I need to drive Miss Potts to the airport.”

Darcy smiled.   
“Thank you Happy.”

“I’ll be seeing you around then. If you ever need me just tell Jarvis!”, the man shouted over his shoulder as he walked to the elevator. Darcy saw the elevator doors close behind him.

“Darcy, these are going to be your rooms.”

Darcy turned to Hill again, and saw Hills hand hover over one of the small patches she had seen Happy use before.

“These are scanners that will grant you access to areas of the building. Just press your finger on one of these to open locked areas.”

“The way you said it made it sound like a videogame.”  
The stupid joke slipped out of her mouth before she could think about it twice. Joking wasn’t a thing she had really done in a while.

“Knowing Mr. Stark I wouldn’t recommend that you pick up random items in the hopes of power ups.”

It was the accented voice again, seemingly out of nowhere as usual.

Hill continued without really showing any sign of having just heard the air talk.

“As far as I understand this isn’t actually a fingerprint scanner so it doesn’t matter what finger you use.”

Darcy huffed.

“Not like I have many choices left.”

Hill urged her forward and nodded to her. Her hands were still quite bandaged, but her right thumb was free from them, so she pressed it against the pad on the wall. She saw a small light flash green in the pad for a moment, and then heard the click of the door unlocking.

Hill held the door open as Darcy took careful steps into her new home.

The room she entered was quite different from the white room. This one was a room seemingly full of color. The sofa in the middle was a bright happy red, while the rug was a bright and shiny yellow. The room was full of small colourful details from a multicolored beanbag on the floor to a colourful painting on the wall. Across the room she could see a small kitchen, but the truly striking thing about the room wasn’t any of this, but the view. An entire wall of the room were tall windows. The view that opened from them was a view she knew would cost millions if someone were to buy an apartment like this. She could see what felt like all of New York out of her window.

“The bedroom and bathroom are on your right.”, the mysterious male voice said and Darcy found herself almost hurrying through the open door.

The bedroom was as beautiful as the room before had been. The bed was massive and looked like Darcy could sink in it. The bedspread over it looked like it had been hand knitted, and on the enge of the bed Darcy could see her bag that Happy had dropped off. The door to the bathroom was open as well, and Darcy was starting to feel overwhelmed as she peered inside. There was a shower as well as a large bathtub. There was a mirror as tall as the room on the side, but Darcy very carefully decided not to look at herself.

“I hope everything is to your liking.”

It was the mysterious voice, Jarvis, again.

“I took a few liberties when organizing the decorations of the room. My research showed that bright colors can often enhance the mood as well as-“

“Thank you Jarvis, go to surveillance only mode until I say otherwise.”

Hill was standing next to the bed, her arms crossed, but looking rather impressed.

“Let’s go to the kitchen, we need to talk about some things.”

The kitchen seemed surprisingly big when she saw it properly. It had appliances she suspected would cost and arm and a leg. Her damaged arms and legs probably wouldn’t be acceptable as payment.

She and Hill had sat on opposite sides of a small table, and Darcy was enjoying stretching her leg out. Hill was doing something on her phone, but soon slipped it back to her bag and cleared her throat.

“Jarvis is an artificial intelligence programmed by Stark. Do you know what an AI is?”

Darcy felt like rolling her eyes, but didn’t. Rolling her eyes had cost her a pinky not too long ago.

“It’s basically a really smart robot?”

Hill nodded.  
“That’s the simple way to put. Jarvis monitors things that happen in the tower and assist you in everything you need. Jarvis, online.”

“So does he have a robotic body or something? Like Data?”

The voice seemed to come all the way around again when Jarvis spoke.

“I have no physical form Miss Lewis, nor do I have feelings. As sir once put it, I am simply Siri on steroids.”

That startled a laugh out of Darcy. Hill seemed to be doing her best to ignore Jarvis, and simply continued talking.

“Jarvis will be constantly on and monitoring activities in the common areas of the building. In your private rooms,” Hill gestured the room around them, “he’ll come online when you mention his name. He won’t record any video, but will monitor for threats. In your bedroom and bathroom he will only monitor for threats, and will only come online if you command him online, mentioning his name isn’t enough.”

Darcy wanted to make a comment about how Mr. Stark was obviously one for privacy, but didn’t because, well, she was grateful. This whole Jarvis thing seemed fun, but also somehow a bit frightening. The idea that she would be monitored at all times by an unknown presence, a person or not, wasn’t a good one.

“There’s a standard grocery list that will be used to restock your fridge twice every week, but if you wish to add or take away items just tell Jarvis. If you need anything special you can just tell him and he’ll have it delivered.”

Darcy felt a strange flash of worry go through her. The idea of a stranger coming into her apartment twice a week didn’t feel nice.

“Will Happy deliver them?”

Jarvis was the one to answer this time.

“The fridges in the visitor rooms are stocked by one of Mr. Starks robots.”

“Tony Stark has robots filling up fridges?” Darcy couldn’t stop the question from escaping her mouth and regretted it right away. She didn’t get to ask questions, they asked, she answered.

No, she was no longer underground. She was allowed to ask.

“Mr. Stark does have a flare for the dramatic.” Jarvis answered sounding almost amused. A robot couldn’t be amused though, right?

Darcy heard Hills phone beep in her bag, and as she checked it she sighed and got up.

“I’m sorry I’ll have to cut this short Miss Lewis, I’m needed back at SHIELD.”

Darcy nodded and watched as Hill buttoned her jacket back up.

“If you need anything Jarvis will assist you.” she started walking toward the door with long strides but stopped once her hand was on the handle. “I’m sure you’ll be quite happy here Miss Lewis.”

And like that she was suddenly gone and Darcy was alone in the room.

* * *

 

Sometimes it could get boring in the lab. Most of the time science was all fun and games, but sometimes it was just sitting around and waiting for results.

Tony had been running tests on one of the joints on the left arm of the suit all morning. Something had probably gone wrong in the rendering process, but there was no way to know before Jarvis was done running the design though different tests with the assembly robots.

This was the time for random internet surfing and coffee, so that was exactly what he was doing when Jarvis announced that Maria Hill was asking for permission to enter the lab.

“Hill? What the hell is she doing..? Sure, let her in.”

Tony leaned back to be more comfortable on his chair as he heard the door open behind him.

“Is this what we’re funding with our consultant fees?” Hill asked as she took the few steps to the platform where Tony was with his back to her, surrounded by computer screens. “Reading Buzzfeed articles?”

Tony spun around dramatically on his chair.

“Maria Hill, what an unpleasant surprise! To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Hill looked decidedly unimpressed at Tony, which wasn’t nice because Tony knew he was quite impressive, and handed him a small folder.

“I came to settle Darcy Lewis into your guest floor.” Tony raised his brows in question so Hill sighed and continued, “Pepper informed you about this three weeks ago. She approved of it.”

“Well if you agreed with it with Pep you should talk with her.” Tony spun his chair back around to face the monitors. “Now if you’ll excuse me I really need to know what are the top 32 things kittens do better than humans so-“

Hill grabbed his chair and spun him again to face back to her.

“Stark. We really need to talk about Darcy Lewis.”

Her face looked like it was made of stone, but her eyes… Her eyes looked broken.  
Suddenly he didn’t feel like joking.

Hill pulled up another chair from behind another desk and sat down heavily. Suddenly she looked tired and like something was weighing her down. Tony had never seen Hill look like this, and he couln’t help but to lean forward to listen to what she had to say.

“Darcy Lewis is a civilian who got caught in the middle of our mess. We did this to her, and we need to find a way to undo it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got to introducing more characters!  
> Also, how on earth have I reached almost 7000 words already? I'm just getting started!


	5. Chapter 5

Darcy couldn’t stop staring out of the window in her main room.

After Hill left, she had dragged one of the kitchen chairs with her and placed it so that she could just sit and stare at the view opening below her. The buildings around her were in different stages of repairs, but seemed still as busy as ever. She could see people on the streets, looking like nothing but tiny spots on the ground.

Question were starting to fill her mind. Why was she being treated to something like this? What has she done to deserve something like this? Absently she rubbed her left thumb over the place where her right ring finger and pinkie used to be. They said she wasn’t worth anything so why was she given something like this? Why would Tony Star, a man she had never met treat her to something like this?  
The man in white had only given her things if she answered them like a good girl.

Suddenly she shook herself out of her thought.  
No. She couldn’t let herself think about that. If she doesn’t think about it, it’s almost like it never happened. No, she needed to distract herself right now. Something. Something quick.

“Jarvis,” she called out with her voice sounding shaky even to herself “how high up are we right now?”

The crisp voice came from above her without pause.

“Your apartment is located at a height of approximately 1,250 feet, or 381 meters if you prefer. You are currently at the same height as the roof of the Empire State Building.”

Darcy let out a slow whistle. 

Jarvis seemed to clear his throat, which made no sense since as far as Darcy understood, he didn’t have a throat.

“I’m glad that you engaged me Miss Lewis, as there are a few things we need to discuss.”

Darcy felt awkward just talking to thin air, so she focused her gaze on the horizon.   
“What kind of things?”

“Just a few routine things that are established when a new person moves into the apartments.”

Darcy nodded. As soon as she did she felt stupid, but when Jarvis continued she realized that he must see her in some way, as he seemed to have registered her approval.

“First of all we need to set up you privacy and access perimeters.”

“What do those include?”

“It’s quite simple Miss Lewis. You can decide who has access to your private rooms, and…”, it was strange to hear an uncomfortable note in an AI’s voice, “You need to decide how much of your private information I can access.”

Darcy was quiet for a moment.

“Who has access to my rooms right now?”

“You do, as well as people with the general access codes which at the moment are: Mr. Stark, Miss Potts, and Mr. Hogan.”

Darcy felt something twisting in her stomach. People who she had never met had access to her rooms. She hated this idea, but the people who had access were also the people who owned this building, people who could kick her out if they wanted to. It felt wrong somehow to deny people who had been nothing but kind to you access to somewhere they owned.

But the thoughts in her mind slipped back to the dark grey room. To her bed of clothes and cardboard, and most of all, to the lock on the door that she had spent hours trying to break, trying to get out. But she couldn’t, she never could. Not until someone else opened it.

“Jarvis, would it be ok if only I had access?”

“Of course Miss Lewis. If you have visitors I can inform you when they arrive so you can decide if you are here or currently unavailable.”

Darcy wanted to smile, but she still felt the knot in her stomach. At SHIELD she had been living in a building filled with strangers, but no-one else really lived her, besides the patients of the medical floors. But here there would be other people, people she had never met living near her.

“How safe am I here?” Darcy blurted out unable to stop herself.

“I can assure you that this is quite possibly the safest building in the country, and probably the whole world.” Jarvis answered with a confident tone. “I monitor the building for threats and unauthorised access at all times. There is also a sizeable and well trained security force present at the tower, and Mr. Stark likes to also have at least one of the Iron Man suites on premises at all times.”

Darcy smiled as she nodded. She knew it was stupid to be so nervous, she lived in a building owned by an actual superhero.

“That brings me to my second question about how much access do you wish for me to have?”

Darcy couldn’t help glancing at the ceiling again. She knew there would be nothing there, but somehow she automatically wanted to find the source of the voice.

“What do you mean?”

“As Agent Hill explained to you, the default setting is that I am basically offline in your rooms unless you ask for me by name. Some however prefer that I maintain what is known as ‘conversational mode’ when in general living spaces excluding the bedroom and the bathroom. “

This time Darcy couldn’t stop the smile.  
“Stark likes that one, right?”

“He does like it when someone is listening to him talk at all times.”

The sun was high up in the sky and Darcy thought that it must be mid-afternoon. Light was glistening on the walls of the buildings surrounding the tower as Darcy thought about what Jarvis had said. Did she want to have something listening to her at all times? As much as she didn’t want to feel like she was being monitored, she did like to feel safe. And if Jarvis was around all the time she might feel safer.   
And the other point she didn’t like to think about was how insanely lonely she was here.

Everyone who she had known before all of this knew only the lie SHIELD had told them. She wasn’t sure if she had any friends left from her life before. She wasn’t that sad about her family, she knew they would only think she had finally lived up to their expectations of her being a disappointment, but when she thought of her friends she felt the tears trying to fill her eyes. Jane… Oh God what Jane must have thought of her when they told her the cover story. Jane and Erik must hate her.

She rubbed her hands across her face. She could really use a friend.  

“Yeah Jarvis, just stay at talking mode at all times.”

“Nice to find my company appreciated Miss Lewis.”

Darcy smiled again.

“If we’re gonna be pals you better stop calling me Miss Lewis all the time. Darcy’s fine.”

Jarvis answered swiftly.

“As you wish Darcy.” He continued right away. “Mr. Hogan has informed me that you are in the need of a phone?”

Darcy cleared her throat.

“Yeah. Happy told me he could get me one.” She suddenly felt very awkward. These strangers had given her so much and now she was asking more. “I can buy one myself, it’s not trouble.”

“Most of Stark Industries technology department is located just downstairs, it will be absolutely no trouble for me to request a phone for you.”

That did sound nice, so she nodded her agreement.

She wasn’t exactly sure how long she had been sitting there after that, but she suddenly she felt tired. It couldn’t be more than 5pm, but this was the most she had moved or talked during a single day in a long time.

“Darcy, I feel like I should suggest that you eat something. I also believe you are due some medication soon.”

Jarvis sounded quieter somehow, which Darcy was somehow grateful for. She didn’t much care for loud noises these days. It was almost as bad as bright artificial light.

She got herself up from the chair carefully as she moved to inspect the kitchen properly for the first time. Just as she had expected it was filled with all of the best kitchen appliances known to man. Man, Tony Stark doesn’t hold back.

In her past life Darcy had always loved to cook. It was a thing she and her grandmother used to do together every day until she started to get too sick, but Darcy still remembered all of the tips she had given her. She used to cook for Jane all the time, pasta, steaks, lasagne, pretty much anything. It hadn’t occurred to her until now that she had actually missed cooking. It must have been one of those things you don’t really think about when it’s gone. She at least had been too focused on staying alive for the amount of food they gave her to worry about who made it.

If she was honest though, she knew she was too tired to cook anything. It was early, but in hospital you get used to an early kind of rhythm, and she hadn’t been up for this long since she woke at the hospital the first time. Walking seemed to take all of her energy, and balancing the crutches was awkward with her bandaged hands.

She opened the fridge and wasn’t left disappointed. There was a balanced mix of ready to eat foods and ingredients to cook whatever she wanted.

“If I may, I would recommend the microwaveable chicken meal. It seems to be popular with the residents.”

She grabbed the meal and placed it in the microwave. It was strange how soon you can get used to a robot giving you food recommendations.

She hobbled to sit on the sofa with her ready meal and a can of soda and sat in front of the TV to eat. In hospital there wasn’t much else to do besides watch television, but the TV she had had at SHIELD medical was nothing compared to the TV here. This thing was massive. Like, she was fairly certain that it had been stolen from a football stadium somewhere. And even better, this thing seemed to have every channel that ever excited.

Darcy kept flipping the channels but felt like nothing fit. She no longer wanted to see anything violent or anything dramatic. Romance seemed stupid and the news just reminded her of how much time she had lost.

“Are you looking for anything specific?”, Jarvis asked, his tone curious.

Darcy thought for a moment.

“Cartoons.”

The TV flipped the channel by itself and started playing a cartoon she recognized from her childhood.

“Thanks Jarvis.”

And there, on the corner of her crazy expensive sofa, while eating a chicken meal recommended to her by an AI who seemed to know her taste in cartoons, Darcy Lewis felt almost normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was mostly getting Darcy settled in and maybe teasing a bit about what happened to her.
> 
> Next chapter will bring Tony into the story in a bigger way, and we'll find out even more about what happened with the man in white.
> 
> Also, thank you so much to everyone for leaving kudos and comments, they mean a lot to me!


	6. Chapter 6

The lights were on and the man in white was mad. His hand was twisted in Darcy’s long hair, and he was keeping her head bent back as he yelled in her face.

“You told me he was dead!”

Spit was flying from his mouth to her face and Darcy was sobbing. Her own hands were desperately trying to pry the hand from grabbing her hair but the man is white was stronger. It hurt so much.

“I’m sorry.” She was sobbing hard. It hurt so much. “Thor said he died! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

The man in white didn’t believe her, and she knew it. She kept repeating the words over and over, trying to make him understand.

Without warning he released his grip from her hair, and she collapsed to the ground, sobbing.

“You lied to me girl.” The man in white leaned out of the room as he continued talking. “You told me Phil Coulson was dead. You lied. You know what happens when you lie.”

He was gripping the pair of large bolt cutters.

No. She started scurrying back, as fast as she could. No, no, no, not again please no, please.

The two guards in the room grabbed her and dragged her back to the centre of the room. She kicked and trashed. Not this. Not this.

The guard on her left grabbed her left hand and splayed it against the floor.

The man in white grabbed her middle finger and placed the bolt cutters around it.

“You deserve this.”

The bolt cutters closed and the man in white was now decorated with red.

\--

She opened her eyes and was greeted with light. It was bright. There was light. He was here.

She screamed and started scurrying back. Her heart was racing and she needed to get away.

“I’m sorry!” she screamed as she pressed her eyes shut and curled into herself. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

And suddenly the room was dark.

“Darcy, is everything alright?”

It was definitely a male voice, but it wasn’t the man in white and it had an accent unlike any of the guards.

That’s when she realized that the surface she was currently cowering on was soft and warm. She had something wrapped around her, and she couldn’t smell the damp smell she had gotten so used to.

She opened her eyes carefully and was faced with a pillow. A fluffy looking pillow that had a picture of a cartoony Iron Man printed on it. She gulped for air for a moment until her heart stopped feeling like it was going to escape from her chest.

Darcy blinked again, this time letting her eyes stay closed for a moment. When she opened them again the pillow was still there, visible in the dim darkened room.

“Darcy, are you in need of medical help?”

Jarvis. The voice was Jarvis and she was at Avengers tower. She wasn’t underground. She was safe.

“No. I…”, she swallowed heavily “It was just a nightmare.”

Her breathing was starting to even out as she carefully stretched herself out from the fetal position she had pulled herself into. She noticed she was covered in cold sweat and shakily wiped her forehead with the left hand.

Darcy laid the hand on her lap and stared at it. The middle finger was gone, they had taken it for lying. She didn’t lie.  
 She carefully unrolled the bandage from her hand and looked at where the finger used to be. It had healed well, Doctor Hammond said. They had cauterized the cut with something and stitched the area crudely together so it would be the least of her problems. They had to have learned from the first two times. When they snapped her right ring finger off she couldn’t stop bleeding and nearly died. It had been early days then.

“Darcy, are you quite sure you are all right? It will be no trouble for me to ask a consultation from one of the doctors in the medical wing.”

Jarvis sounded almost worried. But he was a robot, right? He couldn’t actually worry.

“I’m sure.” Her voice was evening out as she calmed more and more. “I just need to catch my breath.”

She, or they, sat in silence for a time. The room was still comfortably dark, but she could make out the furniture and decorations around it. It was lovely. It was nothing like the hellhole she had been in.

“Darcy, would you like to discuss what happened?”

The voice sounded kind and soft this time, almost like a parents talking to a child after they got scared. She shook her heard. She didn’t want to say things out loud. She just couldn’t.

“Do you have any advice for me on how to handle similar situations in the future? My protocols state that the proper course of action is to turn on the lights in the room and to try to speak to the person experiencing trouble.”

She swallowed hard, and felt a familiar pain in her throat.

“Just… don’t turn on the lights.”

Darcy slid to the side of the bed carefully and looked at the clock on the nightstand. The red numbers flickered at 9.13 am. That was something new, she couldn’t remember the last time she had slept through the night.

She left her crutches were they were leaned against the wall and hobbled to the bathroom. She was grateful for the dimmable lights in the room, and she turned the lights on just high enough so she could be sure not to hurt herself in the shower.

* * *

 

It was nearing noon when Darcy was once again seated at the corner of the red sofa, sipping a cup of tea. Jarvis had been playing cartoons for her on the big TV since she had emerged from her bedroom and she was oddly grateful for that. Seeing the Powerpuff Girls kick butt was surprisingly calming and the tea Jarvis had recommended seemed to be relaxing her even more.

After her cup was empty, she found herself splayed over the sofa and occasionally even laughing at whatever shenanigans the girls had gotten into. She was interrupted from her enjoyment of quality TV by Jarvis informing her there was a package waiting for her behind her door.

It was awkward carrying the thing back to the coffee table since she could only support herself with one of the crutches, but she managed it without falling flat on her face on the floor. She had assumed that she would simply find her new phone inside the package, but it was obviously bigger and heavier than a single phone would have been.

“You can find scissors at the top drawer of the kitchen.”, Jarvis advised her after Darcy had tried to pry the thing open with her ineffective hands.

She kept inspecting the package on the outside as she held up her right hand.   
“Scissors aren’t going work.”

“My apologies Darcy.” She had to look up then because she had never thought to hear an embarrassed AI. “The same drawer also includes a box cutter.”

The things was opened quickly with the use of the box cutter and Darcy couldn’t hold back her delighted gasp when she saw what was in the package. On the top was a sleek looking package with the words ‘StarkPhone A edition’ printed on the top of it. This thing was the most wanted and most expensive smartphone in the world. When she had been stuck at SHIELD medical doing nothing but watching TV she had seen the commercials for the phone all the time. This thing made other phones on the market look like toys.

As she lifted it from the box, she saw what was underneath it and gasped again. It was a larger package and it had the words ‘StarkPad A edition’ printed on top of it.

“No freaking way!” She tore the packaging open as fast as she could to reveal a beautiful black tablet computer. “I thought this thing wouldn’t be in stores until next year!”

Once while going through channels she had seen the press conference where the beautiful Pepper Potts had revealed the release of the first Stark tablet. This thing was supposed to be as powerful and versatile as a regular computer.

“Mr. Stark personally ordered the delivery of these items to you.”, Jarvis informed her, stopping Darcy in her tracks.

“Wait, Tony Stark willingly gave me technology that some people would be willing to kill for?”

“Mr. Stark heard your need for a phone and decided to include the StarkPad as a welcoming present.”

All her life Darcy had heard about Tony Stark. She had heard that he was a troubled playboy and a genius asshole. She remembered how they had studied the politics of Stark Industries weapons manufacturing at school. When he had revealed himself to be Iron Man she remembered the discussions on news shows about how one man was starting to have too much power. She had always seen a picture of Tony Stark that painted him as a warmongering asshole who profited from the suffering of other people.  
And now he was giving her gifts.

Somehow this really hit Darcy. She realized that she was living in a building that Stark owned, but it felt very impersonal somehow. This felt like a personal kindness and she desperately wanted to repay him. But why did she have to give him? What could she give an man that had everything and more?

“Jarvis, is Stark here?”

“Mr. Stark is currently present at the tower and has no appointment scheduled outside of the tower today.

“Perfect.” Darcy said as she awkwardly pushed herself off the sofa. “Has he eaten anything yet?”

Jarvis seemed to let out a huff of laughter.  
“Mr. Stark isn’t known for his regular eating habits.”

“I take that as a no?”

“That would be correct.”

* * *

 

The lasagne smelled amazing as Darcy pulled it from the oven. The food at SHIELD had been nice, but it would be nothing compared to what she had just cooked. She used all the tricks her grandma had taught her, but had to cut a few corners, mostly by not making her own pasta.

This was perfect. She let it cool for a while before cutting a big piece from it and sliding it onto a container. She had never met a person that didn’t love her cooking and was sure Tony Stark wouldn’t think anything different.

When she told Jarvis what she had planned he had seemed pleased.   
“Trying to get him to eat is a constant battle.” He had said. “I’m sure he’ll appreciate the food.”

Darcy popped the lid on the container and grabbed one of her crutches. It’s be easier to just use one and use the other hand to carry the food. Her leg was starting to be able to carry some weight again so walking was feeling easier.

Darcy made her way out of the door without even thinking about it until she was in the tasteful white room outside her rooms. That’s when things started to go wrong.

She hadn’t even thought about the possibility of seeing other people, besides Stark obviously, but when she was outside of her door the thought hit her. She was in a building where hundreds of people worked and some people lived in. There was a high chance of running into someone. 

“Jarvis, does anyone else live on this floor?”

She had never heard anything from the other apartments, but as far as she could figure out, this floor had 3 rooms similar to hers judging by the doors.

“You are currently the sole resident on the guest floors.”

Darcy let out a sigh and started making her way towards the elevator. She couldn’t help but to notice that suddenly her walking seemed to be much slower, and it had nothing to do with her leg.

The good mood she had managed to get into with cartoons, gifts, and cooking seemed to be seeping out of her as she reached the elevator.

Why hadn’t she thought of this? Someone could be in there, waiting for her.

“Is the elevator available?”

The doors slid open just then to reveal an empty elevator. As soon as she had stepped on it the doors slid closed and elevator started to go up as Jarvis obviously knew where she was going.

This whole thing was starting to feel stupid. What made her think Tony Stark would want her cooking? She was useless. Tony Stark was giving her a place to live and had just given her priceless technology as a gift and she was bringing him a piece of lasagne. She was so stupid.

The doors opened with a hiss and Darcy stepped out to a large room.

“You’ll find the entrance to the laboratory if you simply walk straight ahead.” Jarvis said in his regular tone and Darcy started to make her way across the room.

Every step she took the worse she felt. Why had this seemed like a good idea at all? It wasn’t, it was stupid. She was stupid. The man had more money than most countries and could buy the best foods in the world. He could have lasagne flown in from Italy if he wanted to.

Tony Stark was a powerful man, he could order people around. He could probably order Darcy around. He was strong, he could easily overpower her.

Darcy felt her breathing get uneven. This was crazy, she didn’t know this man. Stark was just a friendly stranger. What if he wasn’t friendly?

Darcy had reached a great glass door and looked at it for a moment.

“Would you like me to ask Mr. Stark for permission for you to enter?”, Jarvis asked. “Unfortunately you do not have automatic access to this area at the moment.”

Darcy started at the door. Somewhere in there was the man who she owed so much to. A man that had been kind to her. A man who was a complete stranger. She felt her hands shake.

“Would it be ok if I left the food here and you told him where to find it?”

“As you wish Darcy.” Jarvis answered, but Darcy could hear a note of something like worry in his voice.

She lowered the container carefully on the floor next to the door and started to quickly make her way back to the elevator and to the safety of her own room.

“Jarvis please don’t tell him until I’m back at my rooms.”

She heard the pleading desperate tone in her own voice and as Jarvis agreed when the elevator doors closed behind her she felt the anxiety filling her.

When she finally arrived back to her friendly colourful room she burst into tears as soon as the door closed behind her, and she wasn’t really sure why.

* * *

 

This joint was really starting to be a massive pain in Tony’s ass. Or, actually, on his elbow.

When Hill visited him the day before he had been sure that it had been a simple error that had happened during the rendering process, but even after diagnostics the thing still seemed to be pressing painfully against his elbow when he flexed his fingers. He had been running tests since early morning with the help of Jarvis and the bots but nothing seemed to make sense.

Tony was bent over the table where he had laid out the entire arm of the newest mark trying to figure out where the design must have gone wrong. If it wasn’t a rendering issue then it was a design error, and he didn’t much like admitting to having done mistakes.

He left out a heavy sigh and leaned back on the chair. This damn thing would drive him fucking mad. Sure he could use one of the older marks if they got called out on a mission, but he was sure someone, mainly Barton, would notice and start being an ass about it. Also, his new baby had a new fantastic paintjob and he had improved the target weapons on the gauntlets a lot in the past few weeks.

Jarvis dragged him out of his sulking by daring to speak to him.  
“Sir-“

“Unless you figured out why my elbows are bruised as hell, I don’t want to hear it.”

“With all due respect sir, I believe that this will be of interest to you.”

Tony perked up. This could be good.  
“What is it J?”

“Food.” Jarvis deadpanned.

“Food?” Tony repeated after him. “What kind of food?”

“Lasagne to be specific. Fresh, homemade, and warm.” Jarvis answered with his usual dry voice.

Tony had to admit that he was more than a bit hungry. He had eaten a sandwich before heading to the lab that morning, but had only drank a cup pf coffee after that.

“Where could I find that?”, he asked. He really hoped it wouldn’t be the tower cafeteria. He had eaten there once and that would be the last time. The food had been great, but eating your spaghetti felt a tad awkward when 500 pairs of eyes were staring at you.

“Darcy left you a piece outside you door.”

Tony got up from the chair and walked across the lab to the main door. Sure enough, just next to the door there was a small container that smelled amazing even with the lid closed.

He threw himself back to his chair and grabbed a fork from his drawer of random things.   
The first bite tasted amazing. The lasagne was still hot and tasted heavenly.

“Who did you say made this?” Pepper would probably murder him if he died from eating random foods he found outside his lab.

“Darcy made it.” Jarvis answered and continued with “It came out of the oven only 13 minutes ago.”

Tony raised his eyebrow and proceeded to talk with his mouth filled with food.

“My my Jarvis, are you really on a first name bases with a girl?” Tony swallowed and faked a concerned expression. “Do we need to talk about the birds and the bees?”

“Unfortunately, sir, all of your web traffic goes through me.” Tony could hear the sarcastic tone in Jarvis’ voice. “I have seen more than enough types of human intercourse to have figured out the creation of babies myself.”

Tony let out a snort of laughter and continued eating his food. The piece he had been given had been huge and he was only halfway done with it when he threw his fork on the table.  
It had been freaking delicious.

“Would you thank the girl for me Jarvis? Tell her that she’s free to cook me anytime.”

“I’ll inform her.”

Tony stretched out on his chair and let out a yawn. He had only had about 5 hours of sleep last night because of this stupid joint thing. And that reminded him.

“How is the girl settling in? She sleep well and all?” Tony asked as he pulled up the joint schematics once more.

Oddly, Jarvis didn’t answer him right away. Tony glanced a meaningful look towards the ceiling. He didn’t much like waiting and Jarvis knew that.

“I believe it went as well as could be expected.”

That was curiously unspecific for Jarvis. Tony was used to very detailed and informative answers from the AI, and now he answers by not really answering at all.

“Jarvis,” Tony leaned back on his chair to glance towards the monitoring cameras “did something happen?"

Jarvis was quiet for a moment and Tony was starting to feel nervous. Jarvis hiding things from him wasn’t just strange, it was pretty worrying.

“Sir, you asked me to review the files Agent Hill left for you and use them to make Miss Lewis’ stay as comfortable as possible.” Tony nodded and Jarvis continued. “Miss Lewis experienced very severe mental and physical abuse and I believe recovery will be a very tough process for her.”

They had known this since they agreed to take her in. Well, Pepper had agreed and then informed him.

“Sir, as far as I have been able to find out from the files that Hill provided and ones I acquired from SHIELD without permission, Miss Lewis has not spoken of her experiences besides from her interviews with agent Hill.”

“What do you want me to do about it? None of my doctorates are in anything near psychology J.” Tony felt a strange pang of guilt at his own words.

“Sir, after your kidnapping who helped you to recover?”

The question shocked him slightly. Jarvis and he didn’t really speak about things like these. They had never really talked about what happened in Afghanistan, and Tony sure as hell had never thought that Jarvis had paid much attention who nursed him through it all.

“Rhodey and Pepper.” He answered honestly. He had no idea where he would be now without them. Not Iron Man for sure.

“Friends, sir. Loved ones. People who cared about your well-being.” There was a pause. “Darcy Lewis has none of those things.”

Tony realized what Jarvis wanted now. He wanted Tony to be someone’s Rhodey and Pepper.

Those felt like awfully large and uncomfortable shoes to fill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a short one but somehow it's now half past 3 in the morning and I have a 3563 word chapter written...


	7. Chapter 7

Grandma Lewis had always hated technology. She had adamantly refused to get a cell phone no matter how much Darcy had tried to convince her to get one. She used the same TV for a decade and refused to change to a new one even after her cat had peed on it and caused the sound to become weirdly static-y. She had always believed that computers were some kind of a fad that would fade out in the near future, and seemed annoyed whenever someone even mentioned them. And even during her last days at the hospital when the cancer was definitely winning the battle, she had time to get irritated about all the beeping and blooping machines around her.

Right now, Darcy understood exactly how she had felt. Owning coveted cutting-edge, unreleased, unfinished technology seemed like the coolest thing in the entire world, just until the moment when the damn thing stopped working.

It had been a week since the package containing her new phone and tablet had arrived, and Darcy had to admit that she might have gotten more than slightly addicted to them during that time. Well, mostly to the tablet, since she didn’t really have anyone to call. The tablet was honestly a thing of beauty. It weight about the same as a magazine, and yet the thing was more like a computer than a tablet. As well as having an app store about a million times better than Apple had, this thing could actually run PC games. Darcy was in love.

Or, actually, she had been until about 2 hours ago. She had just finished her lunch of chicken and rice and returned to her now familiar corner on the sofa when the StarkPad had decided to stop working. She had just brought up her saved game of The Sims 4 when the thing suddenly went dark and displayed nothing but the Stark Industries logo.

That’s when Darcy discovered that it was incredibly hard to Google answerers about unreleased technology. She’d been trying to search things on her phone, but the problem was that since no-one had it yet, no-one had had problems with it yet. She tried searching with StarkPhone names, but none of those seemed to match her problems even though the operating system was the same. About 10 minutes ago she had finally given up trying to solve the problem by herself and gave Jarvis control.

“Darcy, the problem is that the model is yet untested. Consumer based issues have not been solved yet, as consumers have not used the device yet.”, Jarvis was explaining in his usual tone after doing his own research.

Darcy sighed.  That’s kinda what she had figured. Well, it had been fun while it lasted. She supposed she could save a few months from her SHIELD allowance and buy a cheap laptop. She didn’t want to think about how difficult using a laptop would feel after using this thing, especially since her hand situation was what it was.

“I contacted the development and support team downstairs, and apparently none of them are qualified to give support on the device quite yet.” Jarvis continued. “They are yet to have been trained for this specific piece of technology and this version of the operating system.”

Darcy couldn’t help but to raise her brows.

“The people that developed this tablet haven’t had time to learn how to use it?”

Jarvis stayed quiet which Darcy found inherently suspicious. She had learned quite quickly that Jarvis couldn’t pass a question. It was probably something complicated due to programming, but Darcy liked to think that it was because he was a massive know-it-all.

“Did I just accidentally uncover some great big Stark Industries secret? Do you steal your tablet from aliens or something?”

“Unfortunately it isn’t anything as interesting as that. Our main developer simply prefers to work alone, and is notoriously bad at sharing.”

Ah, so it was Stark then. Obvious.

Darcy would just have to live with the internet on her phone. It wasn’t that bad, but since her finger situation was what it was, it would be awkward to try to use the smaller screen.

The truth was that she hadn’t really been using the tablet only for fun. She had missed almost an entire year of her life, so she had a lot of catching up to do. The first time she had pulled up a news site, she had almost had a panic attack. So much had happened in the world, so many bad things. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t watch clips from CNN where an emotionless reporter talked about the suffering of other people like their lives meant nothing.

She would have given up then if it hadn’t been for Jarvis. She had been sitting in the corner of the sofa again, buried inside a huge bright yellow blanket, the tablet abandoned on the coffee table, when Jarvis had started talking to her, his tone gentle.

“Darcy, if you want assistance, I do have a protocol designed specifically to help catch people up on current events.”

“Why would you have something like that?”, Darcy mumbled from somewhere under the blanket.

“Various reasons. The first one was developed after Mr. Stark returned from Afghanistan, but the program has since been refined to help people who have had a lot more to catch up, so to speak.”

And so Jarvis had created her her very own newsfeed. All the serious violent important stuff was condensed a few lines of text that simply brought up the main point of the story, and they were intertwined with happy stories about puppies getting rescued and people raising money for good causes. That way she had gotten through a lot of what she had missed, but sadly now that the tablet had crashed she wasn’t sure she’d ever finish what she had started.

“Darcy, I do have a suggestion if you are willing to listen.”

Darcy felt her mood brighten slightly. This could be good.

“Please tell me you can fix this Jarvis!”

The AI seemed to hesitate before answering.

“I can’t, but I know who can.”

* * *

 

Darcy stood with her forehead resting on the door, a container full of food in one hand, and her tablet in the other.

“Jarvis, this is stupid.”

“It isn’t stupid.”

“This is so stupid.”

When Jarvis had suggested that she go to upstairs for support she had informed him that it was indeed stupid. Jarvis himself just suggested that Darcy bring food with her as a peace offering, apparently not realizing how incredibly stupid this was. She had cooked the food anyway, and was now standing at the door, thinking how stupid this was.

“Jarvis, I can’t honestly use one of the smartest people of our time as tech support.”

“Mr. Stark is currently in the main laboratory, he is not working on any specific project, and he has expressed to me that he is quite bored. Repeatedly. “He paused for a moment. “No-one is more qualified to help you than Mr. Stark.”

Darcy had heard all the stories that had gone around Facebook that a minute of Tony Stark’s time cost more than the average monthly wage. And now she was honestly going to ask this man to fix her tablet.

“Jarvis, this is so so stupid.”

She stood there by the door for another few minutes. She didn’t really need a tablet that bad, did she? Just using the phone was fine. She had dropped the thing about a hundred times because it was so light and small, but that was fine. Totally fine.

Darcy sighed. This was pointless. She knew she had to catch up. She had news to read, and she knew she desperately needed the tablet.

After a bit of juggling, she managed to get the door open and was once again stood in the white room. It was still as stylish at ever, but the colour white just seemed to have a very unnerving effect on her. Once in the safety of the elevator Darcy could feel the nervousness increase again.

What was stuck in her mind, was a piece that the BBC had done on Stark that she had seen while in London with Jane. It was basically a documentary where different experts were interviewed about Stark and his life and work. It started with the story everyone knew, a troubled boy genius, and continued through his kidnapping in Afghanistan all the way through his Iron Man days. The documentary showed all the damage the guy had done, it showed interviews from people whose lives were ruined by Tony Stark. They showed how the man had sown destruction and terror where he had walked.  They had shown all the good things he had done as well, but right now all of those parts seemed minor in Darcy’s mind.

She had grown up reading gossip magazines where Tony Stark stood on the cover with young models draped all over him, or seeing him on the news giving dismissive answers about the weapons he had built.

And now Darcy was going to meet this guy.

The elevator doors opened to the same room they had a week ago, and Darcy took slow steps towards the door she knew would be there. Her going was slow since she had to leave her crutches upstairs, but she was slowing down more and more.

This was what happened a week ago too, she thought. It had been easy until she remembered who she was actually going to meet. Somehow the idea of Tony Stark was starting to terrify her. She wasn’t very comfortable around men, and Tony Stark had been named the most powerful man in the world.

The container filled with pie slipped out of her hands and Darcy was ready to turn back. She was ready to turn back right now and go back to her room. She wasn’t strong enough to do this, mentally or physically. She would just leave the food and the tablet here and go back to her room.

Breathing was starting to get hard again. This had been such a stupid idea, she had been so stupid to even consider it. She needed to go now.

She turned on her heels to start heading back to the elevator, and took the first steps to head back when Jarvis spoke up.

“Darcy, I would never let anything happen to you.”

That stopped her right in her tracks. Jarvis sounded incredibly kind and encouraging. How could he do that? How could an AI be able to sound like he really understood the feelings?

Logically she knew that Jarvis had been made by Stark. He had programmed it, and basically Jarvis was just a really fancy computer program. But she also trusted him.

Darcy turned around slowly, and bent down to pick the container from the floor. Luckily it hadn’t opened during the impact and the pie looked more or less intact. She could do this. She was going to do this. She would go in, tell Stark what went wrong, and go. She would go immediately.

As she took a few slowly wobbly steps towards the door, she heard Jarvis unlock it, and watched the door slide open. She didn’t hesitate at the step, because she knew that if she did, she would never go in.

The room she found herself in was massive. All around the dimly lit space she could see pieces of metal strewn on tables. There were half finished tablets, metal worked in seemingly fandom shapes, and things she was sure were parts of the Iron Man armour. Darcy felt her heart race. This looked like a stereotypical bad guy lair if anything.

The only part that didn’t fit that was something she was only noticing now. She had been so focused on sheer panic that she didn’t really register the music at first. She had just reached a platform at the middle of the room when she realised that what she was hearing was Beyoncé. Well this wasn’t what she had expected.

And neither was the first moment she laid her eyes on Tony Stark.

Tony Stark wasn’t almost a man in her mind, he was Iron Man. He was a superhero. He was a man that was respected or feared. He was equal parts hated and loved.

And right now, he was in front of Darcy wearing nothing but a Metallica t-shirt and Iron Man boxers and dancing to Beyoncé with a cup of coffee in his hand.

And just like that, Tony Stark stopped being a mysterious enigma of a man, and started being a total dork. Darcy couldn’t help but to burst into laughter.

That seemed to be the moment that Stark noticed her, and seemed to visibly startle, as suddenly he spilled coffee over himself.

“Uh, hello, well..” Stark was actually blushing while quickly pulling an office chair under a table and pulling it in front of himself. “Jarvis, there’s a girl in my lab.”

“Sir, I asked permission for Darcy to enter 68 seconds ago.”

“Jarvis, I’m pretty sure I’d remember if you had asked if someone could enter my lab.” Stark said in a flustered voice while glancing towards the ceiling. Darcy was glad to see that she wasn’t the only one that couldn’t help that.

“Sir, I am absolutely positive that I asked for authorisation, and that you responded with a nod.”

“I was nodding to the music! Have you never seen people enjoy music Jarvis?!”

Darcy couldn’t stop laughing. She was pretty sure it was her anxiety moving into hysteria, but right now it seemed like the best thing she had ever seen.

“Dude,” she wheezed out “you have pictures of yourself printed on your own underwear.”

Stark crossed his arms and looked defensive.

“They give this stuff to me to test it.”

Darcy was finally getting herself under control and carefully wiped her tears of most likely laughter on her sleeve, having put the pie container on one of the workbenches.

Stark seemed to be recovering from his brief embarrassment.

“Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go put on pants.”

* * *

 

Tony returned to the platform after pulling on a pair of sweatpants and muted the music with a command to Jarvis.

The girl was still standing there, and was looking around curiously. This was really the first time Tony had really seen her and he felt a strange sense of guilt at the sight of her.

She was wearing a baggy hoodie and a baggy pair of sweatpants, and on her head he could see a red beanie. He couldn’t see any hair sticking out, so she must have quite short hair. Her face told a story Tony wasn’t sure he wanted to hear. Her nose had obviously been broken and it had a red scar running across it. Her face was littered with small cuts, all of which seemed to be healing well. All except the line of round scars on her forehead. Judging by the shape he’d say cigarette or small cigar. Oh, he was starting to really think he didn’t want to find out.

“So, you’re Darcy then.”, he quipped and threw himself onto the office chair he had used to cover himself. “Jarvis seems fond of you.”

The girl seemed to have calmed down from her laugh attack, and responded to him with a smile. She seemed almost shy now.

“Sir,” Jarvis interrupted. “Darcy has an issue with her StarkTab which I thought you might be able to assist her with.”

“An issue with the new model?” Tony couldn’t help but to frown. “Gimme.”

The girl seemed to hesitate a moment, but took a few steps anyway. Something had obviously happened to one of her legs, broken probably. She was careful not to put her full weight on the leg as she approached him. The biggest shock came when she extended her hand to hold the tablet out to him. Her right hand had only three fingers, her ring finger and pinkie were completely gone. Tony did his best not to react in any way as he took the tablet from her.

“So what’s wrong with it?” he asked as he hit the power button on top. The Stark Industries logo appeared.  

Darcy answered him, in a very quiet voice, compared to the one she had used previously.  
“It won’t move past that screen.”

“Huh, weird.” Tony mumbled as he grabbed some tools from one of his drawers, and popped the uppercase of the thing open.

He spent a few minutes inspecting the wiring, until a small container was slid next to him.

“I brought you pie.”

“Nice.” He looked back up to the girl, who still looked wary of him. “Grab a chair, this might take a while.”

The girl sat down carefully, and Tony could see her awkwardly extending her pained leg under the table. At this point he could also see that her left hand was also missing a finger. Poor girl.

He grabbed a pair precision tools and his magnifying glass on a stand, and started inspecting the wiring.

“So you settling in well? Jarvis has been playing nice and all?”

“Jarvis has been great.” Her voice sounded more confident again. “Everything’s been great.”

“Good to hear.” Tony carefully scraped one of the wires. “The tower is pretty quiet right now.”

They sat together in silence for some minutes while Tony worked. He could see out the corner of his eye that the girl was starting to lean in to see what he was doing, so he started to narrate his moves.

“I’m gonna check if any of the wires have become loose. They shouldn’t have, but it’s always a possibility. It’s most likely a software issue, but it never hurts to check the hardware first.”

He kept talking for probably 30 minutes as he worked and she looked. The only things that interrupted him were his occasional mouthfuls of pie, and Jarvis when he had something to suggest.

“Ok, let’s test this thing.” Tony exclaimed as he finished fixing the final bug in the programming, and pressed the power button. The Stark Industries logo flashed on the screen, but in a few seconds was replaced by Darcy’s lockscreen.

Tony thrust his hand in the air for a high five, and was surprised to receive one immediately.

The girl was smiling widely as Tony handed her the tablet back. She hugged it tight to her chest.  
“Thank you.”

“Pleasure was all mine kid, now I don’t have to listen to the whining on the internet when that bug presented itself after we started selling those for real.” Tony said with a smirk on his lips.

Tony got up from his chair and extended his arm to Darcy who was clearly struggling to get up. She looked at him hesitantly and Tony was just about to pull his arm back, when the girl grabbed it and pulled herself from the chair.

“I guess I’ll be seeing you around again kid.”

Darcy smiled and nodded and started to make her way to the door. Just before she stepped out she hesitated and turned back to face Tony again.

She seemed to want to say something, but finding the right words seemed hard.

“I know kid. It’s ok.” Tony answered to the sentence Darcy didn’t seem to be able to say.

She smiled again, and the door closed behind her moments later.

* * *

 

Tony collapsed back into the chair he’d been sitting on.

“That was very risky, sir.”

Tony sighed.  
“I know Jarvis, ok? But it worked out didn’t it?”

He leaned back to the keyboard to shut down the fake diagnostics program he had had running.

“Sir, I just think that shutting down her tablet remotely to get her to come to you was-“

“I know Jarvis, I know!” Tony ran his hand through his hair. “Got her to interact with another human though.”

Jarvis had told him to be Rhodey and Pepper, and that’s what they would have done; broken thing to get him to fix them. He just did the reverse. Kinda.

He was just sad that the plan had required him to ruin a pair of perfectly good Iron Man underwear, but he had figured that seeing him in a humiliating human state would help. And he was pretty sure that it had.

The lights were brought up to their normal brightness setting again as Tony pulled up the damn elbow joint designs again on the hologram. He really hoped he would be able to help this girl.

The plans in front of him extended from the elbow to the tips of the fingers, and a thought occurred to Tony. With a flick of his wrist he dismissed the arm part of the design, and after a moment the palm part as well, until only the finger designs floated in the air above him.

Maybe he didn’t just have to be Rhodey and Pepper to this girl and help her the way they had helped him, maybe he could be a Tony to her as well, helping her the way only he could.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This had a more lighthearted tone, not sure how/why that happened.
> 
> Also, I have a new tumblr sideblog just to keep people updated on this fic, and the other ideas currently going around in my head. You can find it at mydarcyblog.tumblr.com 
> 
> I think I'm gonna take small prompts soon. I feel like writing something a bit more relaxing than this thing.


	8. Chapter 8

Pain is a weird thing. People that have never experienced extreme pain often seem to think that it’s easy to deal with. They have maybe sprained an ankle, and seem to think that pain is survivable.

Everyone likes to believe that if they ever were tortured, they’d never crack. They would protect the ones they love no matter the cost. They’d grit their teeth, give a clever quip to the people hurting them, and then deal with the pain some more. They’d die with their dignity.

Darcy thought so too. She thought that she would never say anything if it came to that. She really did. She thought so right until the moment they snapped one of her fingers off.

After that she told them everything. She told them the facts, and when she ran out of them she told them things they wanted to hear.

But the weird thing about pain is, that you don’t really remember it. You remember that you were in pain, but you don’t really remember the feeling of pain.

That’s what was going through Darcy’s mind as Doctor Hammond was carefully inspecting her pained leg. Recovery had been going well, and with the help of Jarvis, Darcy had been doing well with rehab. The leg had been able to carry most of her weight already when she left the hospital, but now that she had had some free time, she noticed that walking on it had gotten easier quite quickly.

“The leg is really starting to look good Darcy. Just keep going through the exercises and I think you’ll make almost a full recovery on it!”

After that, the fingers were pretty easy. Where her left middle finger used to be, was now just a red scar, and on her right hand, her ring ringer and pinkie were just tiny stubs.

The fingers had healed well, the only one that really gave her trouble anymore was the pinkie. It was the first one they took, and obviously they didn’t quite know how to do it yet. The bolt cutters hadn’t been there yet, all they had had was a large sharp knife that haunted Darcy’s dreams. It hadn’t been sharp enough so it had taken a few tries to get it off. The shock and blood loss had almost killed her that night.

They were seated in Darcy’s kitchen after Doctor Hammond finished her examination of the fingers.

“So Darcy,” Doctor Hammond started as she waited for her tea to cool down enough for her to take a sip. “how have you liked being here?”

Darcy thought about that for a moment while swallowing her own mouthful.  
“It’s calm. Jarvis helps me a lot.”

Doctor Hammond was nodding. She had this way of looking at Darcy and nodding, which always made Darcy feel like she was expected to continue.

“Tony was nice.”

“You met Tony Stark?” Doctor Hammond seemed surprised. “I thought he’d be too busy to save the world.”

Darcy smiled and shook her head. She had really liked Tony. They hadn’t really talked much, most Tony had explained as he fixed her tablet, but it had felt nice. It had felt like he knew that she didn’t want to talk, and took over without a question.

They sat together drinking their teas while Doctor Hammond updated Darcy on how everyone at SHIELD medical was doing. After they were done Doctor Hammond rose from her chair and started to pack her equipment.

“I’ll better be off then, I still have paperwork to do.” She was pulling on her jacket. “It’s really nice outside, you should try it.”

Darcy didn’t really react to her statement. She had wanted to go outside for a while now. She could see from her window how sunny it was, and Jarvis informed her of the temperature each morning. But the thing was that she wasn’t ready. She knew she wasn’t.

Doctor Hammond smiled at her.  
“I think it’s time.” She patted Darcy’s shoulder gently. “Just go around the building or something, it’ll be fine.”

After they had said their goodbyes and Doctor Hammond had left, Darcy found herself sitting my hear window. It did look like a beautiful day. The sky was nearly clear, and it looked warm. The street below didn’t look as busy as it often did. Darcy had to admit that she missed fresh air. She had never been an outdoorsy kind of a person, but she had liked walking. Sometime she could wander around for hours, listening to her iPod and just let her mind wander.

She carefully rose from the chair she had been sitting on, and put on the light jacket she had hanging by the door. Doctor Hammond thought she had been ready. She would just walk around the building. She could do this.

* * *

 

Tony was in a shit mood.

He was sitting in the backseat of his car, on his was from a board of directors meeting that had went terribly. The StarkPad was ready to be launched, and now the money grabbing bastards had decided that Tony needed to limit the capabilities of the main tablet, so they could come out with a luxury version for the Christmas market.

Tony had refused, since the tablet would be a part of the ‘A edition’ series. It wouldn’t make any sense that the phone had more capabilities than the tablet. It had ended in a lot of yelling and Tony was still fuming.

What didn’t improve his mood either were the bruises on his elbows. He had rebuilt the entire arm of the armour, and still the problem persisted. He had also just seen Pepper at the meeting, and that was just another stab in the heart. He missed her more than he could imagine, but it was done. She had told him that she couldn’t keep spending every single day terrified that he might die. He understood, but it just hurt too much.

They had arrived in the parking garage at the building, and all Tony could manage was a grumbling “Thanks” to Happy before heading to the elevator. He really needed a drink or two.

The elevator doors slid open, and Tony stepped in as he slipped his sunglasses from his face.  
“Take me home J.”

It wasn’t even noon and Tony was already done with this day. He’d go up, drink for a bit, then go out to some crazy expensive club spend his money exactly like he pleased.

The elevator had only been moving for a few seconds when it came to a sudden stop.  
Oh he really wasn’t in the mood for this right now.

“Jarvis, if you don’t take me upstairs right now, I’m going to rip out every single one of your-“

“Sir, there is a situation in the private entrance that I believe you should be aware of.” Jarvis interrupted, his voice urgent.

The doors slid open to the private entrance, which was meant only for residents of the tower. The room didn’t have any furniture in it, it was just a large space, which included a small inconspicuous door that led straight onto the busy street next to it. The outer wall was the made of the same darkened window that covered the rest of the house. It was made so you could always see out of the building, but you couldn’t see into it.

Someone was sitting on the floor across from the windows, next to the wall.  
Tony took a few hesitating steps towards the person. If there was an intruder, Jarvis would have locked the place down. There was no way he’d actually direct Tony towards danger.

Tony recognized the red beanie first. It was the same one that the girl, Darcy, had worn to his lab a few days ago. It was rather hard to recognize anything else. She had pulled her legs to her chest and her head was resting on her knees.

She didn’t seem to notice as Tony approached her. The only thing he could hear were quiet sobs.  
He didn’t really know what to do, he wasn’t good at these things. When emotions happened people needed Pepper or Steve or anyone but him. He had no idea what to do.

So he did the only thing he could. He sat down next to her. He settled down so they were close, but not close enough to touch.

He should probably say something. He should say something comforting about how life could get better and how the world was a place full of sunshine and puppies, but he just couldn’t. He knew the world could be an evil fucking place, and he knew that what had happened to this girl couldn’t be fixed with a few platitudes and a pat on the back.

Tony leaned his head against the wall and watched the people on the street next to them. He could see tourists clustered together to take pictures of the A on the outside of the building, he could see guys in expensive suits talking on their phones, he could see hipsters with their overpriced headphones on their ears looking bored, and he could see irritated looking nannies trying to get their kids to be under control. The people walked by never knowing that there were too people sitting so near to them.

Tony wasn’t sure how long they sat there, the girl with her head rested on her knees, and him watching the people of New York walk by. It felt nice in a way. The girl had stopped crying some time ago, and Tony could see from the corner of his eye that she was now looking out of the windows too.

He didn’t look at her, but kept his gaze fixed on the windows.

“You ok?”

The girl didn’t answer for a while, and Tony had almost given up hope that she would when she spoke, her voice sounding hoarse.

“I tried to go outside. I couldn’t.”

* * *

 

Darcy had been sitting there for a few hours now and she could feel her leg starting to cramp. She had made it all the way to the door before she realized she couldn’t do it. There were so many people on the street. They all looked scary. The people with their cameras, men in their suits, kids with sullen faces and women running after children, they all looked like they could hurt her, they all looked unfriendly.

She had already had her hand on the door when the anxiety hit and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. She wasn’t sure how she had ended up on the floor, but she did remember Jarvis talking to her. She couldn’t remember a word he said, but she did remember when the elevator door opened and someone stepped into the room.

She had given the briefest of glances to see who it was, and the settled back to her position.

Star had sat next to her and had continued to sit there until she had calmed down enough to catch her breath.

They were both staring out of the window when he had asked her if she was ok. Now they had fallen back into silence, and Darcy was starting to feel better. She had known it was too soon to go outside and she should have listened to herself.

Stark started to get up, his hand braced on the wall.

“Come one kid, I have an idea.”

Darcy thought about it for a moment. She had only known this man for a few days now, but there was something about him that made Darcy feel like she could trust him.

She got up to wobbling legs, and rubbed her eyes. Crying for a long time was exhausting, she felt like she really needed a nap, but she knew better now. Naps always seemed like a good idea until she woke up screaming like she had every time so far.

Tony was already in the elevator by the time Darcy started to make her way there. Her leg hurt after sitting in an awkward position for so long, so she was limping more than usual. Every time she put her weight on it, a sharp pain shot through the leg. It was rather minor to what she had to go through before, so the few steps to the elevator didn’t take long.

Tony was leaning against the back of the elevator when she got in. He had put on a pair of sunglasses for some reason.

“Jarvis, top floor.” He commanded as soon as the doors slid closed behind Darcy.

The elevator started rising from the street level, and kept going until it reached what Darcy suspected was the highest level in the tower.

The doors opened to a large comfortable looking room. It was similar to the white room no Darcy’s floor, as it was filled with comfortable looking sofas and chairs, but this room also had a massive TV and what looked like a small kitchen at the back.

Tony moved into the room and Darcy followed clumsily, her leg still hurting.

“Awesome, right? This is the common room for the residents of the tower.” He said as he gestured the room at large. “It hasn’t really been used yet as the others haven’t moved into their floors yet.”

Darcy wasn’t sure what they were doing there. It was a really nice room, but she didn’t really know why she needed to see it. Maybe this was Tony’s way of telling her she was free to use the space if she wanted to?

Tony strode across the room to what seemed just another row of large windows. He gestured for Darcy to follow, which she did. It wasn’t until she had almost reached the windows when she realized that what Tony had just pulled open was a large glass door.

He held the door open as she stepped through the door.

She found herself standing on a large balcony. It was mostly empty but for some empty flowerpots and a row of seats and sofas, but the view was even better than she could ever imagine. If she had thought the view in her room had been good…

Darcy could feel a surprisingly gentle wind blow around her, and she could feel the warmth of the sun on her skin. The air smelled almost fresh, and Darcy could actually hear birds somewhere. Most of the noise surrounding her was traffic and construction works, but it all sounded amazing.

Darcy sat on the sofa nearest to the glass railing and took a deep breath in. She was outside. She was actually outside. She couldn’t help but to smile.

Tony sat next to her on the sofa.  
“Feel free to come here anytime.” He leaned back on the sofa comfortably. “It’s not like there’s anyone to use the common spaces anyway.”

Darcy had been afraid of people for a while now, but right now she felt comfortable around someone. Without really questioning what she was doing, she carefully laid her head on Tony’s shoulder and closed her eyes. The sun felt gentle on her pale skin, and she felt safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea why I struggled with this chapter so much. The part where Tony and Darcy sit together behind a window watching people go by was probably the first part of this fic I came up with in like 2012, but writing it was really hard.
> 
> We're meeting someone new in the next chapter, and Tony is gonna unleash his usual snark!


	9. Chapter 9

Darcy yawned as she took the elevator up to the top floor of the Avengers tower. It was still pretty early, but she had woken to another dream of the man in white so she wasn’t going to fall asleep again.

For a few weeks now she had started to come up here every morning. Usually she’d cook breakfast for herself in the top floor kitchen and eat it outside on the balcony. It didn’t really matter if it was windy or rainy, she just enjoyed being outside. After that she’d usually use her tablet in the common room. Sometimes she got caught up on things she had missed with Jarvis, sometimes she just played games.

Tony usually showed up at some point of the day. He had a weird schedule, sometimes staying in his lab at the tower for days, sometimes he’d disappear for a day only to casually tell Darcy that he had had some business in Tokyo. On the days he was at home, Darcy would cook them lunch or dinner.

It was weird, this strange domestic thing she had going on with Tony. On the outside they were two very different people. Darcy being this timid new person she had been forced into being, and Tony being, well, Tony.

As Darcy arrived on the top floor, she was rather surprised to see Tony already awake. She had never seen him up before 9am, yet here he was, laying on his back on the sofa.

“Coffee?” Darcy asked as a form of greeting.

“You are a goddess among men.” Tony muttered, shieling his eyes from the lights with his hand. “The hero Gotham wants and needs.”

Darcy made herself a cup of tea, and Tony a cup of strong coffee while Tony continued to lay on the sofa, grumbling to himself. He only got up after Darcy carefully waved the cup of coffee in front of his face.

“Thanks.” Tony muttered as he took the cup from Darcy, and sat up properly to take a sip from it. Darcy settled on one of the armchairs opposite and started to drink her own tea.

Tony looked like he hadn’t slept all night, and now that Darcy though about it, she was pretty sure he was wearing the same clothes as he had yesterday. His hair was a total mess, but she was pretty sure he hadn’t been out all night as she couldn’t smell any alcohol on him. It was obvious something had been bothering him and Darcy just had to ask.

“Have you been in the lab all night?”

“Yep.” Tony sighed before taking a big gulp from his coffee. “I’m almost finished with the new marc. I had to redesign most of the arms due to the chafing thing with the elbow joint. I also had to do a lot of rewiring and since this was just a prototype I had to do it by hand so Jarvis and the assembly robots could replicate it to the final model.”

Darcy had noticed a while ago that Tony had a habit of talking about things, especially his tech, like they made perfect sense. Which she supposed did make sense to him, but to Darcy they were complete gibberish most of the time. The weird thing was that she kinda liked it. It was soothing to see Tony rant about inferior batteries on Apple phones, or spend all of dinner angry about Samsung laptops.

Tony kept rambling on about the new Iron Man armour, and Darcy kept nodding in the appropriate parts.

“So what are you going to do today?”, he asked her during his second cup. “Just the usual?”

She shrugged. Her life had become very routine and boring, but that was only a good thing. She was just about to tell Tony that, when Jarvis spoke up.

“Sir, Miss Potts is on her way up, should I request that she wait on your floor?”

The expression on Tony’s face changed almost instantly. The tiredness seemed to fade, while a strange, fake looking smile appeared.

“No J., tell her to come up.”

Darcy didn’t have time to get nervous before the doors opened to reveal Pepper Potts.

She was tall and beautiful, with her subtle makeup and tight bun. Her grey suit looked like it cost more than any piece of clothing Darcy had ever owned combined, and her heels looked dangerously high. Overall you couldn’t help but to be impressed when you saw her, she certainly made an impression.

“Pepper! What brings you all the way here this morning?” Tony asked in a weirdly cheery voice as he jumped up from the sofa to meet her.

“Tony.” She said as she nodded to him. “I had business in the building and Jarvis told me you were actually conscious at this hour.”

“Very funny Pep.” Tony answered and they exchanged a quick hug. “I thought that you were going to be in Miami until the end of the month?”

She sighed.  
“I’m going back tomorrow after the StarkPad launch event, I need to be there for the press event on Friday.”

It wasn’t until then that she seemed to notice Darcy. She quirked one of her brows and turned to Tony.

“Jarvis didn’t tell me you had company.”

“What?” Tony followed her gaze to Darcy. “Pep wha-? No, that’s Darcy.”

She didn’t seem to recognize her name at first, but suddenly her expression softened. She took a few steps until she was standing in front of her.

“Pepper Potts. Nice to finally meet you Darcy.”

Pepper extended her arm for a handshake and Darcy felt a sudden wave of anxiety go through her. Physical contact wasn’t something she was comfortable with yet, until she initiated it. And to be fair, she hadn’t really done that with anyone but Tony. She hadn’t really spent a lot of time with anyone besides Tony since all of this began, but she trusted him. Maybe even enough that he could touch her first.

Right then Tony took a quick step so he was standing between them.

“Pep, Darcy doesn’t do touching.” Darcy could hear the smirk in his voice. “You’re very free to touch me if you want to.”

Pepper took a step back and Tony turned to glance at Darcy. She knew he was checking that she was fine and she gave him a quick smile.

Pepper sat on the sofa opposite of Darcy, and Tony sat next to her. This felt… strange. Darcy had known that Tony and Pepper had been together, and she knew that they had broken up. That much was easily found out on the web, and just a few times he mentioned her name and looked sad.

“So Darcy, have you been comfortable here? Do you have everything you need?” Pepper asked, looking Darcy with a kind look on her face.

She looked like she was pitying her, and Darcy felt her stomach turn. She tugged at her beanie without thinking about it and noticed Pepper giving her fingers a long look.

“It’s been good.” Her voice was quieter than it would be if it was just her and Tony. “Tony and Jarvis have been really good to me.”

Pepper gave a tight smile.

“That’s good to hear.” She leaned forward and Darcy felt more and more uncomfortable. “Is there anything you need? Anything I can help you with?”

Darcy shook her head. Speaking felt suddenly very difficult.

“Pep, did you come here for something?” Tony suddenly interrupted.

She turned her attention back to Tony and Darcy was grateful not to be under that gaze anymore.

“I did. We need to discuss the StarkPad launch event, and I knew you wouldn’t talk about this with anyone else.”

Tony got up from the sofa, and held out a hand and help Pepper up.   
“Let’s take this to the lab if you don’t mind.”

Pepper nodded a goodbye to Darcy and walked to the elevator.

“I’ll be back home for dinner dear.” Tony quipped as he disappeared in the elevator too.

It was suddenly very quiet in the room again and Darcy let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

* * *

 

So, surprise surprise, the StarPad launch looked to be a dull affair where Tony was needed mostly to smile and wave for the cameras, and to answer to the same questions he had a million times before.

“Pepper, I get it ok. Just usual good PR.”

Pepper rolled her eyes.  
“Since when have you known anything about good PR?”

Tony placed his hand on his chest and faked a hurt expression.

“Pepper I am hurt. I am hurt and shock that you would imply such things.”

Pepper let out a quick laugh and leaned back on the armchair she was seated on. She had already put her own StarkPad back to her bag. Now she and Tony were mostly just chatting.

“How have you been? Really?”

Tony shrugged.

“Good, keeping busy. Finished the new armour and started a new project.”

“Oh dear.” Pepper sighed, but couldn’t hide her smile. “Do I need to start preparing for a new press conference?”

“Thankfully no.” Tony said as he smirked back at her. “It’s more of a personal project.”

“If that’s supposed to make me feel better, let me remind you that the last time you had a ‘personal project’ you built the Iron Man.”

Tony laughed. He had missed this easy relationship he had always had with Pepper. He loved her, but, as cliché as it sounded, he hadn’t been in love with her for some time. The love he had for her was now the kind he had for Rhodey.

“Wanna see it?”, he asked and excitedly jumped up from his chair. He’d been at the project on and off for some weeks now, and it was getting along nicely. He was pretty sure it’d be finished later this week, especially since he had stayed up all night figuring out the attachment issues.

Pepper followed him, her heels clicking on the floor, to the main worktable where the project was covered with a cloth.  Tony pulled it back with a “Ta-dah!” and revealed the glove-like design underneath.

The design was simple in itself. There was a bracelet type ring that was fixed on the wrist on the plastic hand underneath. On the back of the hand there ran two wires which connected to two metal fingers.

“Tony, what is this thing?” Pepper breathed as she carefully ran her fingers over the design.

“It’s for Darcy.” Tony said and Pepper turned to face him again.

She nodded.  
“I noticed her hands. Poor girl.”

Tony carefully lifted the design from the workbench and gave Pepper a better look at it.  
“She hadn’t tested it yet, but I think she’ll be pleased with it.”

“Does it work?” Pepper continued when Tony opened his mouth, looking honestly offended. “I mean will the fingers work like regular fingers?”

“Kinda. On her right hand the fingers still have tiny stubs on them so I’m sure I’ll be able to program the fingers to follow the movement of her own fingers.” He sighed and placed the thing back on the table. “She’ll be able to make a grip so I guess that’s better than nothing.”

As he covered the design again, he noticed Pepper was smiling at him fondly.

“What?”

“I just forget sometimes what a good person you actually are.”

Tony felt a blush spreading and quickly turned away.

“Don’t be fooled by the act, I am pure evil.”

They were quiet for a moment until Pepper cleared her throat, and Tony could hear a very uncertain tone in her voice.

“Tony, did you ever read the folder Maria gave to you? About Darcy?”

Tony turned to face her again. Pepper was looking at him with her worried face. Tony wasn’t much fond of her worried face.

“No, I gave it to Jarvis for review.” Her face seemed to drop. “Why, what is it?”

Pepper took a few quick steps to him, and grabbed his hands in her own.

“How much did Jarvis tell you about what happened to her?” Pepper asked, her tone still uncertain, but Tony could hear her something else in that tone too, something he really didn’t like.

“Just that she was captured and interrogated forcefully.” He had been surprised at the extent of the damage you could see on her, but hadn’t given it that much though.

“Can you promise me something Tony?” Pepper asked, giving his hands a firm squeeze.

Tony furrowed his brow. He was starting to have a really bad feeling.

“Pepper, you’re freaking me out.”

“Promise me you won’t read the file.” Her tone was now commanding, the same tone she used at meetings.

“But why?”

“Because you obviously care about the girl.” Pepper looked him in the eye. “I know you. Please don’t read it. For your sake and hers.”

* * *

 

Pepper had left an hour ago, and ever since Tony had been sitting at his table, staring at the file he had retrieved as soon a Pepper had left.

When Hill had given it to him, he hadn’t really cared enough to read it through. He had just scanned the thing and told Jarvis to read it through. Jarvis had used it to be able to accommodate the girl better, and had given Tony a very brief overview which had basically been:

“Civilian with connections to Thor. Was captured and interrogated, suffered mental and physical abuse. Physical recovery going well, mental health at a slower pace.”

Tony had never thought to read the file through until now. The way Pepper reacted made Tony think that he’d find a lot of things there that he really didn’t want to.

He picked the file up but couldn’t bring himself to open it. He needed to know, but he didn’t want to.

“Jarvis?”

“Sir?”

For a moment he stayed quiet, searching for the right words.

“How bad were the things that happened to Darcy?”

Jarvis seemed to be doing the same thing, as he waited a moment before saying.

“Bad, sir.”

Tony stayed quiet after that, slowly fiddling with the file in his hands. He was suddenly more tired than he had ever been in his life.

He wasn’t exactly sure when he made up his mind, or if he intentionally had, but he let the folder slip from his hand back to the table.

There was a time and a place, but this wasn’t it. He really should go to bed.

Tony got up from the chair and headed out of the lab, and before he realized it he had arrived at the top floor of the building.

He stepped out of the elevator, not sure why he had come here. At first glance the room was empty, but he noticed slight movement out of the windows.

As he approached he found Darcy, sitting on the balcony sofa, her tablet in her hands. She looked small in her oversized clothing, and the sunlight made the red scars on her face look more prominent than they usually did.

He made his mind right then.

“Jarvis, have the bots destroy the file right away.”

He didn’t stay in to listen the AI’s answer, but opened the door and stepped to the balcony.

Darcy raised her gaze, and when she saw that it was him, she smiled.   
He had made the right choice and he knew it.

Tony collapsed on the sofa, and without even thinking about it, stretched himself out on it. His head was rested on Darcy’s thigh then and he closed his eyes.

After a few moments, she started to stroke his hair gently, and right then, while drifting to sleep, Tony vowed to himself that he would never let anything hurt this girl ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one again. 
> 
> For those excited for more Avengers, some might be heading our way in a few chapters!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished!  
> Sad news though, summer is over for me and I'm heading back to work. That unfortunately means that new chapters will be less frequent.  
> I'm going to try to post a new chapter every week though!

Darcy was fidgeting in the armchair and couldn’t stop herself from nervously playing with the hem of her shirt.

“Tony, I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

“Nonsense, this is a great idea.” Tony shouted from the kitchen area. “And I’m not saying that just because I happened to come up with it.”

She wasn’t sure about that. This could really be something she could enjoy, but wasn’t sure she could. Things she used to like and enjoy just seemed weirdly pressuring these days.

Tony emerged from the kitchen carrying the white box and placed it on the table in the living room. He carefully started to take the box apart.

Darcy got up from the chair and nervously walked around the room for a moment, before seating herself at the table to watch as Tony finally got the box out of the way.

“Ta-dah!” he exclaimed as the cake was finally revealed from under its cover. Darcy couldn’t help but to laugh when she saw the thing.

“Tony, why is my birthday cake an exact cake replica of a StarkPad?”

“Because,” Tony said before pausing to lick a small spot of frosting from his fingers. “you let me decide what your cake should look like.”

Darcy was insanely nervous. Tony had assured her that he had only invited a few people and assured Darcy that all of them would be “totally cool”. She could guess that Tony had invited Pepper, but had no idea who else could be coming.

Darcy had let it slip that her birthday was coming up and Tony had gone a bit nuts. He had clapped his hands together and started giving commands to Jarvis. “J, order the caters that I like that make those little hamburger things, you know which one. Order a barrel of whiskey and book a nice space some-“

She had had to interrupt him right there. She knew she couldn’t go outside, she just couldn’t. And she didn’t really have friends besides Tony. Tony had then decided that’s he should throw a small party for her, they agreed on no more than 5 people.

Tony was still fiddling with the cake when Jarvis announced: “Sir, Colonel Rhodes is in the elevator heading up.”

Darcy followed Tony to the elevator doors nervously. She felt silly, but she couldn’t help but get behind Tony. She wasn’t exactly hiding, but Tony felt like a shield, like something that would protect her from the world, and from the strangers he had invited to her party.

The door opened, and out stepped a handsome man in a military uniform. For a moment Darcy felt more scared than she had in a while. His face looked stern and Darcy felt like this man was someone who was universally feared. He stepped towards Tony, and suddenly broke in a grin.

Tony basically leaped forward, and they gave each other a long hug.

“Rhodey, my man! It’s been too long.” Tony said as they stepped apart.

The guy rolled his eyes, but was still smiling.  
“Tony, we saw each other last week.”

Tony turned back to face Darcy, and Darcy could see that he was using his genuine happy smile.

“Darcy, this is Colonel James Rhodes, but he prefers Rhodey.”

The guy nodded to her and added: “I actually don’t, but he keeps calling me that anyways.” He extended his arm and handed her a small gift bag. “Happy birthday!”

Darcy wasn’t sure if she was still scared or not, but he took the bag carefully and thanked him. It was strange receiving birthday presents from people she had never met, and she suspected that this was going to happen a few more times today.

“Rhodey, you need to taste these cupcakes that Darcy made, they are amazing. I’m thinking of stealing her secret formula and putting them into production.” Tony was saying as he lead Rhodey to the table.

They had only just sat down, when Jarvis interrupted Tony’s ramblings about food with a: “Sir, Miss Potts and Agent Hill are about to arrive.”

Darcy wasn’t surprised about Pepper, but she had to admit that she was rather surprised to see Hill when the elevator arrived to the penthouse. Pepper was in one of her smart suits, a dark blue this time, with a matching jacket and skirt, and she stepped up to Darcy first.

“Happy birthday Darcy.” She said with a smile and handed her a very neatly wrapped gift. “I hope you’ll like it.”

Hill stepped up to her after Pepper had gone to greet Tony and Rhodey, and handed her a gift that was looked like it was rather clumsily wrapped.  
“Happy birthday.”

That was all she said as she quickly stepped away from her. She took quick strides to where Pepper and Rhodey were talking. Tony came back to her and took the two gifts from her.

“Hill didn’t seem to say much.” He said as he balanced the presents on his hands.

Darcy just shrugged and watched as Tony walked back to the table where the guests were starting to gather. She had wanted to say more but wasn’t sure how. Why had Hill come when she obviously didn’t like Darcy? Any time she looked at her her face was filled with something that looked like anger. She supposed in a way it was better than the pity she could see in Pepper anytime her eyes wandered to her fingers or on the scars on her face.

Jarvis didn’t announce the next guests, so Darcy startled as the doors opened and two men walked out. She wasn’t good at surprises, but just as she quickly took two steps to get back, get away, to hide, she could feel a warm familiar hand wrap around her own.

Tony didn’t need to say anything to calm Darcy down. He was there, a warm solid reminder that she wasn’t alone and stuck underground. She was high up and less alone than she had been in a long time.

Tony didn’t let go of her hand as he led her to the new guests.  
The guy in front wasn’t a stranger at all, it was Happy. She had seen him around the tower occasionally. They exchanged greetings and a few times Darcy had given him something she had baked that day.

Happy wished her happy birthday and handed her a small gift as well. He seemed to be in a rush as he got to Pepper and started talking to her about something.

The guy that had arrived with Happy was a total stranger to Darcy however.  
The first thing Darcy noticed about the guy, was his mop of black hair. He was smartly dressed, in a dress shirt and suit pants. He looked like someone important, but he also looked tired. Another strange thing was the duffel bag he was carrying with him.

“Darcy, this is Bruce.”

The guy gave her a tight smile, and extended his arm for a handshake.

Before Darcy had time to panic, Tony simply interjected with a “No touchy-touchy Bruce.”

“Oh, right, I forgot you told me that.”

He pulled his arm back and instead handed her a small plastic bag.  
“Sorry, I couldn’t really wrap it.”

Darcy smiled to him, and the guy looked a bit flustered. He shifted his heavy looking bag on his shoulder and turned to Tony.

“Can we talk for a moment alone?”

“Sure, just don’t try anything, I’m saving myself for marriage.” Tony said as he gestured Bruce towards the small private conference type room at the edge of the main room. “Everyone’s here, but don’t you dare start eating cake or opening present before I get there.”

Darcy felt oddly defenceless now that Tony had gone. He was only just across the room, but still.

“Darcy, come and join us!” Pepper said with a raised voice from the table.

She felt awkward when she seated herself at the table. All of these people were obviously friends, or at least knew each other well. Happy was sitting next to Pepper, and they were exchanging quick words. Rhodey and Hill were talking too, and Darcy was pretty sure she heard the word “bomb” somewhere in that discussion, so she decided to keep away from that.

Pepper seemed to have finished her talk with Happy, and she turned to Darcy.

“So, did you manage to convince Tony not to order fireworks, or buy ad time on every channel to wish you a happy birthday?”

“I tried.” She said and smiled quickly. “He did say he had some kind of surprise in store for me.”

“I was on a secret mission in an undisclosed location on my birthday once,” Rhodey interrupted. “he somehow managed to find out where I was, cross into hostile territory with a barrel of whiskey. We were under enemy fire and suddenly he appears holding a glass asking where he could find some ice.”

Darcy had to laugh. Tony had told her of all the things he and Rhodey had got up to in the younger days, and the stories always seemed almost too good.

The conversation at the table continued and Darcy was starting to feel somewhat comfortable. They all were people Tony had talked about often, so it felt almost like she knew them. She knew that Pepper owned more nailpolish than Tony considered sane, she knew that Happy had once wrecked one of Tony’s cars because he had gotten distracted while singing to Queen in the car, she knew that Hill was even more badass than she could have ever imagined, and she knew that Rhodey had cried during The Lion King. The only one she didn’t really know anything about was this Bruce guy that was just stepping back into the room with Tony.

Tony was smiling widely and the guy looked relieved. Darcy had to wonder what that had been all about.

“Right then!” Tony said as he clapped his hands together when he arrived at the table. “Cake first, presents second.”

Thankfully they didn’t sing to her, and she only had to blow out one candle before they started with the cake. Tony tried cutting the pieces first, but after he inevitably failed, Pepper sighed and took over.

The cake was good, and Tony was telling how he had ordered it from some celebrity chef, Darcy wasn’t sure who. It tasted good anyway.

Hill and Happy helped to clear the table after they were finished, and Tony was basically bouncing in his seat.

“Time for presents!”

He pushed the small pile of present to Darcy, and they all shifted their full attention to her. Being under all of their gazes at the same time made her feel a bit nervous, so she could feel her hands shake just a bit when she reached for the first present on the pile.

It was Hill’s gift, and Darcy recognized the shape as soon as she picked it up. When she ripped the paper it revealed a small handy taser. Hill nodded to her.  
“I heard you had had one before.”

Darcy had, but not on that night. She said her thanks to Hill, and quickly picked up another present from the small pile before she could let her mind wander to that night again.

The next present was the small gift bag Rhodey had handed to her. She found a small necklace with a heart pendant on it. It was small and quite pretty.

“It had a GPS locator in it. Jarvis can locate it if he ever needs to.” Rhodey said as Darcy dangled the piece of golden jewlery in front of her eyes.

She slipped it around her neck right then, and saw Rhodey smile and steal a glance at Tony.

The next present was the small plastic bag that Bruce had brought for her. She could see him shift as she reached for the bag. He didn’t seem comfortable in his surroundings either. Darcy had noticed the way he had pulled his chair slightly further away from the table than anyone else, even more than her. She had a feeling this man had been through the same kinds of things she had,

The bag contained a book. When Darcy pulled it out, she suddenly really hope it wasn’t continuing with the same theme the two previous presents had. She like the idea of the necklace and the taser but she hated the idea of having to pull out a tacky Dr. Phil self-help book from the bag. But that wasn’t at all it.

“Though you might need some escape.” Bruce said in a surprisingly soft voice. At some point he had put on a pair of glasses, and Darcy couldn’t help but to think that he looked like a stereotypical hot professor.

The book was a simple fantasy novel but for some reason it made her really happy.  She gave Bruce a full smile, the kind she usually only gave to Tony these days.

“It looks lovely.”

Bruce smiled and rubbed his neck. Darcy had a feeling she was going to like this Bruce guy. He seemed a calming influence.

Happys gift was a tacky looking romantic movie, but she thanked him for it anyway. Pepper’s gift on the other hand was quite a bit bigger.

The box revealed a large blanket, one that looked like it had been handmade. The material felt sogt to her fingers.

“Tony told me that you like to sit on the balcony, so I thought you needed something to keep you warm.” Pepper said with a smile.

Darcy was about to thank her when Tony jumped up from his chair. He had seemed restless the whole time, so now that he finally exclaimed “My turn!” Darcy was feeling more than a little intrigued about what was going to happen.

Tony disappeared into the kitchen, and returned with a cardboard box. He placed it gently on the table and gestured Darcy to open it.

Darcy opened the box carefully and found a metal case in it. It was hard to try and carefully first get the case out of the box and the case open, but she managed without making a fool of herself.

The case finally opened and there, on a bed of satin laid what looked like a glove. It was made out of a material that looked like silk, but felt rubbery to her touch.

“Tony, what-?”

Tony didn’t answer, he simply took the glove from the box and gestured for Darcy to give her hand to him.

She gave it to him without hesitation, and with careful hand he pulled the glove to her hand. Darcy could feel something hard in the glove, and kept her hand still. She noticed that the glove was filled where her

Darcy could feel the confusion in the room, but Tony seemed totally focused on her.

“Make a fist.”

They looked at each other for a moment, and Tony nodded to her encouragingly. Carefully Darcy squeezed her fingers.

And they all moved.

The place where she used to have fingers, the place that had no real movement in months, now had fingers that moved.

With her left hand she gave a quick squeeze on the glove where the mystery fingers were. They seemed harder, but looked like the rest of the glove. No-one who didn’t know could have never guessed that there was anything missing.

She carefully wiggeled her fingers, and they all moved. You couldn’t really see any difference in the way her own fingers and the fingers in the glove moved. She carefully grabbed a glass from the table and felt surprised at how easy it felt. She had gotten used to holding things with her left hand, but this felt right, this was how it was supposed to be.

She threw herself at Tony and hugged him harder than ever. He didn’t need to say anything, Darcy knew he had built this for her. She knew that Tony had spent countless hours just to make her life a little easier and she felt the tears come to her eyes.   

What had she done to deserve this?

* * *

 

Hill threw her jacket on her table as she sat down at her desk back at SHIELD.

The girl seemed good, she thought to herself. She had laughed and smiled, and even talked quite openly, so she was doing much better than Hill had expected the first time she saw her at SHIELD medical.

She could never forget the girl on the bed. She had been pale in a way that healthy people never were. Her face had been scarred with angry red scars running across her face and continuing down her neck. She had had more tubes and needles in her than Hill liked to think about and her leg… Her leg had been a bloody mess.

Hill remembered that she had been sitting in that room late at night staring at that leg when the results came in confirming a match:

  * Identification (Missing person: Darcy Lewis): Positive
  * Identification (Unknown DNA [class 2: finger]): Positive
  * Identification (Evidence [case: 0453]): Positive



That paper had had Hill smashing the walls.

She remembered the anger she had felt, she could remember how she had been angry at everyone, but mostly to herself.

The next morning had been the worst part. She had had to sit here at her desk and make the call. She had lied. It had been the worst lie she had ever told and ever would.

She had known it was something she had to do to protect SHIELD, but it didn’t make her sleeping at night any easier. And now it was getting harder by the day, especially today. The girl was a person. She was a person who had gone through what she had because Hill fucked up, and when she was rescued, Hill had taken everyone away from her an extra bonus.

It was the girl’s birthday and she deserved more than a stupid taser. She deserved her life back.

Without hesitation Hill picked up the phone and dialled the number she had had waiting on her desk for weeks now.

The phone beeped a few times until a bright and clear female voice answered: “Jane Foster.”

“Jane, it’s Maria Hill of SHIELD. We need to talk.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.

Darcy was so fucking angry. She was so fucking angry that she was seconds away from actually punching walls or something.

“Jane, you can’t force me to stay here!”  She was shouting and didn’t really care. “You promised me this weekend off two weeks ago!”

“Someone needs to monitor the equipment in case Thor comes back.” Jane wasn’t shouting, she actually sounded almost bored and that made Darcy’s blood boil even harder.

“But why is it me? Why can’t you or Erik stay?”

“Look, Darcy, Erik and I need to attend this gala, and the-“

“Jane, my mom already hates me. If I don’t go she’s just gonna use it as proof to everyone that I really am worthless.” She knew her voice had taken a pleading note, but fuck it, she needed Jane to get it. “I already bought the plane tickets and everything.”

Jane sighed.

“Darcy, we’re going. I don’t want to, but we have to.” Jane didn’t even look at her as she spoke. She was just putting in her earrings in front of the mirror. Darcy was pretty sure that she was ignoring her on purpose.

Darcy let her bag drop on the floor.   
It wasn’t even the fact that she had been stuck indoors for almost three whole weeks now, settling in to the new building with their lab and apartment, it wasn’t even the fact that her mom would hate her, it was the fact that Jane didn’t seem to care.

“Jane.” Darcy walked up to her and actually grabbed her by the shoulders so that they were face to face. “I’m going.”

Jane shrugged her off and grabbed her coat from the hanger.

“Make sure you keep an eye on the equipment. If something happens just call me.”

She started walking to the door and Darcy knew this was her last chance.

“Jane, don’t do this to me.”

She stopped just at the door, and Darcy could see her shoulders slump.

“I’m sorry Darcy.”

And with that she was gone.

Darcy kicked one of the empty cardboard boxes on the floor. This was so unfair. This was so insanely and incredibly unfair. Jane had promised to her that she could take the weekend off. She had promised.

Darcy slumped against the sofa and huffed. She could go, she thought. She could just grab her bag, and go.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Jane or her job, it was just that lately their life together hadn’t been exactly perfect. Thor had had business back in Asgard again and had been gone for a few weeks now. Jane was getting more and more tense by the day and Darcy was the one who had to deal with that.

Darcy glanced at her bag on the floor and thought about just going. She didn’t know if Jane would forgive her or not, and well, she cared about Thor. If he came back and had no-one to pick him up Darcy would hate herself.

Darcy got up from the sofa and wandered to the room they were using as their lab. It was a lot hotter than the rest of the house, as usual. The equipment produced a lot of heat, so it was always warm. Darcy sighed and fanned herself. She needed some fresh air.

The door opened to the small patch a lawn they had outside and Darcy took a few steps to the railing lining the small porch. It was already almost dark outside and the air was getting colder. Darcy wrapped her sweater tighter around herself. She should just get herself a cup of tea and watch a shitty movie or something.

She stayed there for a moment, leaning on the railing and looking at their backyard her anger subsiding. She should call her mom and tell her she couldn’t be there. She’d be mad but Darcy had tried. She started to dig her phone from her pocket.

And just at that moment, before she really had a moment to think, someone was standing behind her. She just had the time to turn around, when something sharp was pressed to her neck. She struggeled for a moment to stay upright, while her foggy mind was desperately searching for answers, and then nothing.

* * *

 

The small party had ended a while ago. Hill had been first to go, leaving pretty much right after Darcy had opened her present, while the others had stayed longer. There were only two people left now, Pepper and Bruce.

Pepper and Tony were talking in hushed toned by the door while she was pulling on her jacket, and Darcy was sitting on the sofa picking up things.

It seemed silly, but being able to grip things properly felt magical. She had gotten pretty good at cooking and using things with her limited number of fingers, but now Darcy could actually hold things.

Bruce was sitting on one of the armchairs, looking at Darcy doing her thing. He seemed somewhat amused at her sheer delight of picking up a pen from the coffeetable and putting it back again, but wasn’t talking.

Pepper gave Darcy a quick goodbye before heading out to the elevator, and Tony walked back to the sofa and sat next to Darcy.

“So is the grip strength ok? You’re not like accidentally squishing things or anything?”

Darcy shook her head and picked up the pen again.

“Good.”

Tony gave a very obvious glance at Bruce and cleared his throat.

“So Bruce is going to move into the tower for some time.”

That got Darcy’s attention. She gave Brue her own glance and turned back to Tony. Bruce seemed like a nice person, but he was a total stranger. Darcy had to admit that she had gotten used to it being just her and Tony, so the idea of another person, a strange man, living next to her made her shudder.

Tony obviously knew what she was thinking.

“He has his own floor and he’s a very calm guy, right Bruce?”

Bruce looked at Tony with an expression Darcy wasn’t sure of, but then turned to her and smiled a tight smile.

Darcy felt worry clawing inside of her anyway. She knew that Tony and Jarvis were there, and she knew that Tony wouldn’t let someone who wanted to hurt her into where they lived, but still.

And, well, now she could properly grasp her new tazer if it came to it.

“Welcome.”

Both Bruce and Tony seemed to give out a relived sigh at that, and Tony jumped up from the sofa.

“Well come on then Brucie, grab your bag, I’m gonna show you to your kickass rooms.”

They disappeared into the elevator and Darcy stayed on the sofa. She could deal with one more person living in the same space as her. And anyway, Bruce seemed like an ordinary guy, even a little shy. She could do this, it was just one person more.

* * *

 

Jane Foster was escorted through the new SHIELD headquarters to Hill’s office about two weeks after Hill had made that phone call to her.

Foster was a surprisingly small and fragile looking woman. The way Thor had talked about her had made it seem as if she was as mighty as any Asgardian goddess, but here, while being escorted to Hill’s office she looked like any young woman.

Hill met her at the door and gave her a quick handshake.

“Please take a seat.” Hill said and gestured at the chair across from her table.

Foster sat down and before Hill had managed to get herself seated, Foster started talking.

“You said you might have recovered some of my equipment? When can I get it back?”

Hill could already feel how hard this would be.

“We have, but that it not why I called you here.”

Foster furrowed her brows.

“What then?”

Hill didn’t have to wonder where she should start. She had rehearsed this whole thing in her head so many times that she knew exactly what needed to be said.

“The night that your equipment was lost-“

“Stolen.” Foster interjected, but Hill kept going on as if she hadn’t heard.

“you called SHIELD to report the losses. We investigated but as you most likely remember, due to our entire organization going through some major situations, we never really had time for a proper investgation.”

Hill had sent a team of low level agents to take samples. They had all just barely finished their rushed training, all had just gotten their level 1 clearance, but there was no-one else available. That’s apparently what happens when half of your organization turns out to be secret Nazis. They had taken swabs and done almost everything right, the problem being that when the results came in, they had demanded a clearance lever of 10. No-one had ever seen them until Hill had looked into them for her mission that also happened to recover Miss Lewis.

“Well based on that phone call it’s quite clear that you investigated a bit at least.” Foster said, still looking angry.

“We contacted you some months later to inform you of the results.” Foster opened her mouth to say something again, but Maria really needed to finish this. “That phone call was a complete lie.”

Foster furrowed her brows again.

“What do you mean?”

This was the point of no return, Hill realized.

“We lied. Our investigation to the matter failed and we lied to give ourselves more time to handle the whole situation.”

Foster looked puzzled.

“I think I need you to take it from the top.”

“On the night you reported the theft, we sent a small team to take samples. There were no signs of forced entry, and they found no evidence on scene to support an outside threat. They took samples on the scene and returned to SHIELD.”

Foster nodded and Hill continued.

“Due to us going through a time when all of our personnel were being investigated, the agent put on your case was a level 2 agent. Due to the connections to Thor the evidence gathered required someone at level 7 minimum. So the report you received from the incident was compiled from things he had access to, which was mostly circumstantial evidence.”

“Meaning..?” Foster was leaning in now, frowning.

“Meaning he formed a theory based on the very limited evidence he had access to.”

The report was on her table, just in case Hill needed to look at it. The summary page was on top and Hill couldn't help but to glance at it.

 

Case: 0453

Summary:

Given that suspect Darcy Lewis had bought air travel tickets prior to the events, and the fact that she disappeared during the same time as the equipment in question disappeared, it is reasonable to come to the conclusion that Darcy Lewis was solely responsible for the disappearance of the property.

 

Hill’s own name was at the very bottom of the brief report, accepting it. She couldn’t even remember reading it.

“Wait…” Foster got up from the chair and started pacing. “Are you saying that Darcy didn’t….? But you called me and told me you had Darcy in custody!”

Hill had always been praised for her nerves of steel, but right now she couldn’t help but to nervously click the pen in her hand.

“We did, simply not for the reasons and the way I told you.”

Foster stopped her pacing

“Explain.”

“During that phone call I told you that we had finally caught up with miss Lewis as she was attempting to sell your equipment. In truth we had been tracking unrelated technology that had been stolen from SHIELD during our troubled months. We found miss Lewis by chance during this operation.”

Foster was a smart woman, Hill knew this. Her mouth had dropped open and she had tears in her eyes now, she had obviously figured it out.

“The same people that took your equipment also took miss Lewis. She was held captive and tortured. When I called you to tell we had arrested her, was soon after she had been brought to hospital. At that point we had no quick plan other than to lie about it, since it could have been somewhat easily solved that she had not in fact returned to her mother in Chicago.”

Hill looked Foster straight in the eye.

“I’m very sorry for all of this, but we had no choice.”

Foster sat back down and quietly sobbed into her hands for a moment. She was still leaning when she started talking in a shaky voice.

“You made me hate her. You made me hate my best friend. You made me think my best friend had stolen from me, and had abandoned me.”

Hill had nothing to say to defend herself. That call would haunt her. The one to Foster had been full of anger and hate, and the one to Lewis’ mother had been even worse. She had simply said “I always knew that girl would be nothing but trouble.” before hanging up.

“Miss Lewis is safe now and doing quite well with her emotional and physical healing.”

Foster was wiping her eyes, and Hill could see the anger starting to form in her face.

“I want to see her.”

Hill nodded.

“I understand, but-“

Foster slammed her hands on the table.

“There is no but! You tell me my best friend has been tortured and has been alone for months.” She practically jumped up from the chair. “You are an idiot if you think I won’t be able to find her.”

Now Hill understood why Thor respected this woman.   
She remained quiet for a moment before nodding again.

“I’ll get us a car.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this taking so long.   
> I know I hate when fic writers give excuses on why they took so long to update so I'm not gonna do that, other than to say that I'm a very lazy person.
> 
> Updates will be more frequent again.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a big fan of the "Darcy gets kidnapped" cliche in the fandom, however I have always felt that we could use a different version of it. Almost all I have read have been quite lighthearted about being kidnapped for a few days and having the Avengers heal her again in what seems like moments.  
> I've just always thought that I wanted something more serious, something that would hurt you to read. I've wanted to read a fic like that for a while, but never got lucky and found one, so I decided to finally get my shit together and write something.
> 
> This will be my second published fic ever, so I'm nervous. This will be a long one I think.


End file.
